


Choices

by AK_Ruston



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Olympics RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst to Tragedy to Happiness, Buckets of awkwardness, F/M, Fix-it fic, Future Fic, Still sorting out their shit in 2021, VM are endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-09-28 08:37:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17179586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AK_Ruston/pseuds/AK_Ruston
Summary: Tessa thinks her life is finally smooth sailing until her past catches up with her and she is forced to make some hard choices before she can move forward.





	1. Water Under the Bridge

**Author's Note:**

> I have to take a tiny break from my regular fluff stories to get this out of my head....it is not a sugary sweet fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Adele's song of the same name

 

 

**Chapter 1: Water Under the Bridge**

 

**July 2018**

 

_The ice is our sacred, safe space. We leave our issues at the door. We never bicker or argue or fight on the ice. No matter what is happening off the ice, we know we can come together there with a common goal._

 

_Off the ice is an entirely different story. The truth that we've withheld from the public is that when life is good, we're good. But when it's bad, it's ugly. It's no holds bard. Full on yelling matches. Screaming. Crying (mostly by him). Once we get that out of the way, then we both shut down and then we don't talk about it. Sometimes angry sex was involved, but it never made me feel better, often it made me feel worse._

 

_He is still so immature in many ways. It's exhausting and frustrating._

 

Tessa closed her journal, and tapped her pen on the cover. She wasn't finished; she had more to say. She opened it back up and continued writing.

 

_He's my best friend and also my worst enemy. The only place we can truly be the fairy tale everyone thinks we are is on the ice. I do love him and always will, but Mom and Jord are right. He is toxic and I need to set him free. I need to do this for him, but more importantly, for myself. I can do better._

 

_Yes, a large part of my heart will always belong to him, but only on the ice where the fairy tale exists. In real life, this princess doesn’t need a prince. She's earned her own money and bought her own castle and is going to make her own happy ending without the prince she thought she would marry. Yes, my 7-year-old self had her heart broken once by him and I suppose it never fully healed._

 

**December 20, 2020**

 

Tessa ran into Scott at the Masonville Mall just before Christmas. They had finally fully disentangled themselves from one another. Tessa had assumed for good, she had managed to avoid contact with him for nearly a year. It helped that she wasn't in the London area that often, work and her personal life kept her travelling. She was happy and finally felt at peace now that their skating relationship was truly behind them. With their 2019 skating obligations over, she set Scott free once and for all. She hadn't seen him in almost twelve months and hadn't texted or called him in eleven months. She needed to go cold turkey and she knew he did too, otherwise they could never move forward in their separate directions.

 

"Tess!" he called out to her as if he had just seen an oasis in the middle of the desert he had been wandering in for nearly a year.

 

She thought momentarily about pretending she didn't hear the voice she would recognize anywhere, even if she was deaf and he whispered it from across the room. _She would always hear him._

 

She thought about walking quickly in the opposite direction, knowing full well he would sprint after her. _He would always chase her._

 

She thought about how much progress she had made in her personal life and how good she felt to just be Tess. Not one half of a team, but her own person. Independent and strong. _She no longer had to hold him up._

 

But then she thought about _Aaron_. She thought about how Jordan rolled her eyes and scoffed when Tessa first showed her sister a photo of the man she was seeing. She had said he was Tessa's _type_. Tessa insisted she didn't have a _type_. This man loved her and supported her emotionally and physically in the ways she needed and she did the same for him. This man was also independent and strong in his own right and career. He didn't need to lean on her constantly or have her carry him through life. They were equals and partners. He was mature and smart and sophisticated. And yes, he had a beard and his hair tipped towards the longer length that she preferred. He took care of his body and was in excellent physical condition. Most importantly though he was emotionally stable. He didn't have outbursts. He didn't rely on Tessa to ground him and control his emotions. He didn’t need to be reined in or have his actions explained. And he certainly never made a fool of himself in public.

 

Tessa had spent too much time with her feet frozen to the ground and her mind racing. Scott was now standing next to her, panting. She looked him up and down, he was no longer in Olympic physical condition, or even close to where his body was at when she last saw him a year ago. Her heart broke a little; _he had let himself go_. He didn’t care enough about himself to eat healthy and ease up on his drinking or visit the gym even semi-regularly. She hadn't been there to remind him or encourage him. She wouldn't be surprised if he needed her help yet again.

 

"Tess! How've you been?”

 

She stared at him, blinking slowly; sort of wishing the ground would swallow her whole.

 

"I'm well, and you?" she replied calmly, almost not wanting to hear his answer.

 

"Honestly...I've been much better. I see you've stayed busy with work, I still have your Instagram notifications turned on."

 

 _Well that doesn't seem creepy and awkward,_ she thought as she stared blankly at Scott. She didn't have much to say to him and he didn't need to have Aaron rubbed in his face. She knew he'd do that thing with his jaw and ask a bunch of personal questions that really he had no business knowing. They were ex-best friends. She had moved on.

 

"Could we meet up for coffee? Maybe our traditional Boxing Day breakfast?" Scott asked hopefully as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

 

Tessa watched him, wanting to reach out her hand to still his body. She thought for a moment about his offer before replying curtly, "Just coffee. Evening of the 30th?" She regretted the words as they were spilling out of her mouth. She _knew_ he would suck her back in. _She thought she was stronger._

 

She was certainly not keeping any traditions with him though, especially holiday ones. Besides, she was going away with Aaron for three days to the Laurentians, after they spent Christmas with their families. She was finally going to try downhill skiing, now that her legs were no longer her most prized asset.

 

"Oh, um, sure. The 30th works," Scott fumbled over the words as he scratched his fingers through his very short hair. He certainly hadn't kept it long for her anymore; she was quick to notice.

 

Tessa silently opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "I have a new number, you can call or text with the time and place," she admitted, somewhat ashamed, as she held it out towards him.

 

 _Second regret of the last five minutes_. She had purposely gotten a new number after cutting ties with him. She didn't want to endure his constant attempts at trying to stay friends. His behaviour during most of 2019 and the latter half of 2018 had hurt her on a multitude of levels.

 

"Oh, so that's why you never returned my texts or calls. Makes sense." He nodded slowly as he looked over her new business card. She could see the pain written on his face as the corners of his eyes twitched in the same way they always had when she had hurt him.

 

Again she just stared at him. _This feels so awkward_ , she thought. She no longer knew how to talk to him or what to say. She didn’t even want to engage in conversation with him.

 

She felt his hand on her shoulder and she immediately flinched. Just slightly, but she knew he noticed. He left his hand there anyways, the warmth burning through her skin, the weight pinning her to the ground.

 

"Have a good Christmas, T. I'll text you, okay?"

 

"Thanks, you too." Her voice was void of emotion as she managed to pull her eyes away from where they were locked on his. She looked over his shoulder at the crowds of holiday shoppers making their way around the pair in the middle of the busy mall. She shouldn't even be surprised that she hadn't noticed their surroundings while talking to him. The bubble had formed naturally, just like it always had.

 

**December 30, 2020**

 

Tessa spotted Scott already seated at the back of the small café as she entered. She stomped the snow off her boots and unwrapped her scarf from around her neck. She was shocked that not only was he on time, but he had arrived before her. _Maybe he’s finally pulled his head out of his ass_ , she thought as she took a deep breath before walking over to his table.

 

"What's wrong with your leg?" Scott asked her as she approached the table.

 

"Nothing." She pretended to have no idea what he was talking about. She thought she was compensating for the limp well. She either wasn't as good as she used to be at hiding her injuries or he was better at noticing subtle differences with her body.

 

"Don't give me that, T. I can see your slight limp that you are trying to hide from me. What did you do?"

 

Tessa was silent for several long minutes. If she explained and told him the truth, then he would know about Aaron and he would get upset and do that thing with his jaw. But if she lied, he would also know. The problem was that he knew her too well.

 

"I tried downhill skiing," she mumbled, the words running together quickly.

 

"Tessa!" he hissed. Skiing had always been on their unapproved activities list. One they both resented but abided by religiously lest they managed to get injured and unable to skate. Tessa was now case in point.

 

"In my defence, skis are slippery," she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. She had twisted her knee pretty good, but no sprain.

 

"Where did you go?"

 

"Laurentians."

 

"Boyfriend?" he asked, his jaw clenching.

 

Her silence made his jaw clench tighter, the muscles twitching, teeth gritting.

 

"What's his name? You gonna show me a picture? Does he know about me? _About us?"_

 

"Scott!" Tessa hissed, looking around the busy coffee shop. No one seemed to be paying attention to the retired Olympic champions. The attention had certainly waned in the almost three years since Pyeongchang.

 

Scott sat in his chair, glaring at her like a protective older brother interrogating his younger sister; except they definitely were _not_ siblings. He felt he had the right to know these things and she always told him anyways, against her better judgment. He knew she would.

 

"I need a coffee first," she grumbled.

 

"Would you rather we go to a bar? Get a real drink?" he offered sincerely.

 

"No. I'm driving."

 

"T, you live like a five minute walk from here." Scott was puzzled. He had chosen this spot because it seemed most convenient for Tessa and she never mentioned that it wasn’t.

 

She was silent but still didn't get up from her chair. She was frozen. She felt backed into a corner. It was always like this with him. He got her to spill everything, willingly. He had patience, knowing eventually she'd just unload everything in one go.

 

"I'll get your coffee, what's your poison tonight, T?" Scott asked as he pushed his chair back from the table, the legs scraping loudly on the tile floor before he stood up.

 

"The regular," she sighed. "Please," she added as she looked up to make eye contact with him, as if her offering up a chance for him to gaze into her eyes was a good enough apology.

 

He placed his hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze before walking towards the counter. He returned several moments later with a café au lait with extra foam, her regular order the last few times they had been out for coffee together, which was more than two years ago.

 

Her heart swooped that he had remembered, but she quickly chastised herself internally for falling for his tricks.

 

"Thank you," she smiled at him and then her eyes lit up as he placed a plate with a chocolate puffed wheat square down next to her coffee mug. "They really do make good puff squares here," she nodded her head towards the treat. "Share?" she suggested, a peace offering, even though she knew he didn't care for them. They were gooey and chocolaty and he hated the way the puffed wheat felt soft and squishy in his mouth; all the things that she loved about it.

 

Scott picked one single kernel off the dark sugary brick and popped it in his mouth. He made a face as he chewed. "Nope. All yours, kiddo."

 

She knew he selected this particular treat _just_ for her. She now owed him the information he was after. She sighed loudly, making it obvious that she knew what he was up to.

 

"His name is Aaron, he's a civil engineer with SBM," she paused as she saw Scott's face scrunch disapprovingly.

 

He always figured it would be a guy like _that_ ; a professional with lots of schooling and probably a lot smarter than him.

 

"Strick Baldinelli Moniz? Fancy. Wait, so if you're driving...that means you're—” Scott’s jaw clenched again. "How far does he live from here?"

 

 _Yeah, not falling for that one, Moir,_ she said with only the raise of one eyebrow.

 

"Fine. Don't tell me then. London isn't that big, I'm sure I'll see him around. So? Picture? Or should I just google him?"

 

Tessa huffed and then airdropped one of her favourite photos of Aaron to Scott's phone. If she had handed over her phone, she knew he would have just gotten upset at the content on her camera roll, especially the photos she and Aaron had taken over the last few days, being all cuddly at the ski lodge.

 

"He has a flow, I see."

 

"And I see you don't," she snarked quickly back to remind him as her eyes darted up to his very short hair.

 

"And a healthy dose of facial hair."

 

"Which you also don't have.” She gently cupped his chin in her hand and ran her thumb over his upper lip.

 

"Hurts, Virtch. You know I tried."

 

Her face softened a little. He had really tried to grow something, anything, for her. But the hairs were sparse and slow and it just looked... _bad_. But she had praised him nonetheless, and lavished extra attention to what little he did have. He knew how she liked the way it felt when his face rubbed on the most sensitive parts of her body. She liked the scratching and roughness, and how it left her skin red and irritated the next day as a reminder of the previous night.

 

"How long? As per usual, you never posted about him on Instagram."

 

"I have a brand to maintain, plus he’s not on Instagram. Ten and a half months."

 

"Is he _the one?"_

 

Tessa didn’t answer that question. She couldn’t. She couldn’t answer Scott, or Aaron, or Jordan or Kate or even herself. Every time she was asked, the answer was the same. _She just didn’t know._

 

That in and of itself should have given her the answer. If after nearly a year she still didn’t have an opinion of Aaron one way or the other, than he was nothing more than a stopping point. She figured one day she would come to the fork in the road and it would be time to carry on without Aaron, just like all the men who came before him.

 

"Enough about me," she said firmly as she sat up straighter in her chair and ignored his question. "Why did you want to meet?"

 

"I missed you? Us? _This?"_ he swirled his hand over the table in the space between them.

  
"You missed having coffee with me on a random Wednesday evening? _Scott_. We haven’t done this for more than two years."

 

Scott was silent for a few moments as he watched his finger push a crumb around on the table that had been left behind by the person who had used the table before them. He took in a huge breath before finally admitting the reason to Tessa. "I need surgery, T."

 

"What?" she gasped. "Why?" She was shocked. He looked fine, she hadn't noticed a limp or him favouring anything.

 

"I was playing hockey with the guys and tore my rotator cuff."

 

" _Oh Scott_..."

 

"It's pretty fucked up, Tess," his voice hitched as he said her name. Tears were in his eyes already and just like that she was sucked back into his orbit. _She knew he needed her._

 

She tried to resist. "I'm sorry to hear about this, Scott. It's a common thing though, I'm sure you'll be fine. They'll fix you up, good as new." She tried to reassure him, and herself as well. She sent up a silent prayer, thankful that this never happened during their last Olympic run, or the other two. He wouldn't have been lifting her with only one good arm.

 

 _Oh. He won't be able to skate? Is that what this is about?_ She watched him wipe the tears from his face. She then realized how his one hand had not left his lap the entire evening. Where she once would have picked that up immediately, now it was something she had missed. She felt horrible; he had noticed that she was injured and limping, but she hadn't noticed him. There was a sick feeling of guilt pooling in her belly.

 

She reached across the table and held her hand out towards his as a peace offering. An apology. An offer to rebuild the broken bridge. It was all she could give at the moment. She had a gut feeling that he wanted more. She assumed he needed comfort from her. She took a long look into his eyes and saw the physical pain swirling in his sad hazel eyes. She had initially thought that he was just feeling sorry for himself now that girlfriend number four (this was since Scott and Tessa broke things off and she only knew about them because Jordan couldn’t keep her mouth shut and had heard about all of them from Cara) had dumped his ass just before Christmas, but it wasn't. She had misread him at the mall when they first saw each other.

 

He reached his hand over slowly, laying his palm over Tessa's open, waiting one. She closed her eyes as he made contact with her; the familiarity of his touch came flooding back to her. She could nearly feel his heart beating in her hand. She was conflicted at what her heart and mind were thinking, two separate thoughts, but she knew she needed to break the contact from him before she was pulled in a direction she might regret. Her mind felt like it was drowning while her heart soared as it began beating in time with his.

 

"When?" Tessa asked as she pulled her hand away, knowing from her own experiences that the sooner the surgery date was set, the faster it would be over with and one could focus on the goal of returning to the ice. He would be less helpful as a coach if he was standing behind the boards, and he would be out from driving and moving his arm for about six weeks post-surgery.

 

"Mid January, I don't know why so far out but I'm on the cancellation list too. I guess with the holidays?"

 

She nodded in agreeance. "Are you in pain?" she asked, knowing full-well that he was.

 

"Not much," he lied, she knew he was trying to protect her from the truth.

  
She nodded again as she crumbled pieces off of her puffed wheat square. She no longer had an appetite. She was worried for Scott and for herself. Before she stepped foot in the cafe tonight, she was blissfully unaware of Scott's situation. Now she was conflicted on a multitude of things and needed time to sort through the mess. She had choices to make.  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not decided yet who Tessa will end up with...leave your thoughts below!
> 
> As always, I love your feedback! Feel free to write something below or come say hi on Twitter or Tumblr @Tutu2220


	2. Turning Tables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the thunder calls for me  
> Next time I'll be braver  
> I'll be my own savior  
> Standing on my own two feet  
> So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no  
> I won't ask you, you to just desert me  
> I can't give you, what you think you gave me  
> It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title and chapter summary are from Adele's Turning Tables

**Chapter 2: Turning Tables**

 

Tessa returned to Aaron's house after her coffee date with Scott and headed straight for the tub. He had a deep cast iron claw-foot in the master bathroom that she adored looking at, but even more she loved soaking in it. She knew she had about 45 minutes until he would be back from the movie he went to see with his brother, and she needed this alone time to decompress. She used a heavy hand to pour both her favourite bath salts and bubble bath into the tub as it filled with hot water. She walked towards the massive master bedroom closet and removed her clothes, every piece going in the hamper because Scott's scent was all over her now and it made it very hard to think clearly. That was completely her fault for giving him a quick hug good-bye though.

 

Aaron walked into the bathroom just as Tessa was stepping out of the bathtub. "Well I had perfect timing," he grinned as he rushed over to grab her towel and hold it open for her. He wrapped the large fluffy white towel around her body and pulled her close. "Mmm you smell vanilla-y. Enjoy your bath, darling?" He rubbed his hands over her towelled back and stared down lovingly into her eyes, waiting for an answer before he would give her the kiss he knew she wanted.

 

"I did, thank you. Best tub ever," she grinned as she moved up on her tiptoes to meet Aaron's lips that were moving down towards hers. He was quite a bit taller than her, and while she wasn't sure about the height difference at first, she realized quickly that she still fit comfortably against his body. Sure, it was different than the way she fit against Scott, but it was still good. She allowed her body to relax against Aaron's, her head tucked under his chin and against his chest, right over his heart. His heartbeat sounded different than Scott's too somehow, but even that she had gotten used to.

 

"How was the movie?" she asked as she nuzzled her head against his chest; he smelled like popcorn.

 

"It was good, not really your style. Political comedy," he dipped his head down and pressed a kiss to the top of Tessa's hair.

 

"Oh," Tessa wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, glad I didn't go with then."

 

"How was Scott?" he asked with genuine interest.

 

Tessa sighed loudly and then looked up at Aaron. He knew she hadn't wanted to go to their coffee date but encouraged her to reconnect with her oldest friend anyways. It baffled Aaron that they both had given up their lengthy friendship, but he didn’t try to understand, he simply accepted that it was unique and complicated. Tessa had explained the bulk of their history to him when they first started dating, and while he wasn't overly versed in figure skating, he had watched them on TV during the Olympics. He, like everyone else, assumed Tessa and Scott were a couple.

 

Aaron and Tessa had first met eleven months ago; they were seated next to each other at a charity event in London that his firm had been a sponsor at. He wasn't supposed to have gone, but his business partner ended up being sick and Aaron filled in at the last minute.

 

They hit it off right away, and spent most of the night chatting about various topics: he was a Jays and Leafs fan, he loved to read, and travel (he did a fair bit of travelling for work and Tessa was able to join him on many of them because her work commitments were now very flexible). But best of all, he was funny and he made her laugh. He had a dry sense of humour and seemed to sneak in the jokes rather than acting like an outright goofball. He was polite and courteous to everyone that night, from their tablemates to the wait staff, and had a firm handshake. He was confident but not cocky. He had kind eyes, they crinkled at the corners like Scott's but they were an intense shade of turquoise that reminded her of Lake Huron. She could lose herself staring into his eyes and she now knew what Scott felt like when he got lost in hers.

 

Aaron was first to approach the topic of Scott, asking why he wasn't in attendance as her date at the dinner that night. She was quick to admit they were not together and he was dating someone else. He apologized for being under the assumption that they were a couple, but that was as far as the conversation went on that topic that night. He didn't feel right prodding and she wasn't in the mood to talk about Scott, having seen a photo of his latest girlfriend on Twitter that afternoon.

 

Tessa had been the one to contact Aaron the next morning at his office. She had phoned their main line and the receptionist had transferred her through to him. He had been expecting a call from a client, so he picked up the line without looking at the number on the screen. He was shocked to hear her familiar voice.

 

She apologized for calling him at work, but they hadn't exchanged contact information last night and she had a great time chatting with him and wondered if he wanted to meet up for coffee sometime. She knew she was being bolder than her usual self, but she felt a connection to Aaron that she hadn't felt since...well...Scott, and she had been up most of the night, thinking of Aaron. She had whined to Jordan that morning over the phone and she told Tessa to _stop pining over him and_ _just call him already!_

 

He of course said yes, and they went for several casual coffee dates before he suggested a real dinner date, unbeknownst to him he had chosen one of Tessa’s favourite restaurants, it was also his. His sister had warned him not to get involved with Tessa, she had read online about her past and she knew a fair bit about Scott's infatuation with Tessa, but none of that phased Aaron. He accepted Tessa for who she was now, and wasn't bothered by her past. Tessa thought that was one of the things she liked most about Aaron. He appreciated her skating past as being just that; her past. It shaped who she was today but it didn't solely define her anymore. He was fascinated with the multiple business opportunities she had embarked on and would intently listen to her talk for hours about what she was so passionate about. She bounced ideas off of him and he gave thoughtful suggestions that she loved and even implemented some of them. He was very knowledgeable about business deals, and while what he knew wasn't specifically in the fashion industry, much of it was the same concept.

 

"Scott is Scott. Same old. He did tell me he needs surgery for a torn rotator cuff."

 

"Oh, that sounds painful. I'm sorry to hear about that. Hopefully the surgery goes well."

 

Tessa was quiet and didn't respond to Aaron's concern for Scott.

 

"Are you worried about him, Tess?"

 

Tessa sighed again. "Yeah, in more ways than one. It's like he can't seem to function normally without me and I don't know how much I want to be pulled back into a life that includes Scott. I really like things as they are now...just you and me. I don't know if I want him third-wheeling my relationship with you."

 

"Third-wheeling sounds a little harsh, but you know I will fully support you, regardless of your decision. I think you need to make this choice based on what is best for _you_ though." Aaron ran his fingers through Tessa's auburn wavy hair, gently untangling knots as he came across them. She had gone back to her more natural shade of brown; the darker colour reminded her too much of Scott and skating.

 

"I know. Truthfully, I just don't know what I want."

 

Aaron kissed Tessa's forehead, letting his lips linger a moment as he breathed in the vanilla that had permeated her pores. "I know, and that's okay. Take a few days, mull it over, make some lists...I'm here to listen or if you want to talk anything through."

 

"I love you, you're so good to me," Tessa said softly as her lips met Aaron's, this time she conveyed her emotions and feelings of love for Aaron into the kiss. Sometimes she still had trouble finding the right words in the moment.

 

"I love you too," Aaron whispered against her lips as he pulled back from her. "Let me go brush my teeth and get ready for bed. How about you warm the sheets for me?"

 

Tessa saw his grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as she felt his hand sneak under the bottom edge of her towel, pinching her ass as she yelped with the contact. _His fingers were freezing_. She leapt towards the bed as he disappeared into the bathroom. As she slipped under the covers of his (their) king bed, she sighed with contentment. "I can't say it enough about the ironed sheets, Aar."

 

Aaron poked his head out of the bathroom and grinned, his mouth full of toothpaste. He had insisted that ironing the sheets before putting them on the bed made for a better night's sleep. Tessa had never mastered the ironing skills that Kate had tried to teach her. It seemed to go the same direction as her cooking skills. Skating and Scott had been her life and there hadn't been much time or need to learn much in the domestic department. Kate had lived with Tessa most of the time in Canton and took care of everything for her. When she was living alone again in London and Montreal, she put the linens on the bed, straight from the dryer and just hoped for the best; she rarely had wrinkles.

 

Aaron turned off the light in the bathroom and got into bed next to Tessa. "I knew you would come around to the idea, once you stopped laughing at it. You sleep better, don't you?"

 

Truthfully, she didn't know if it was the ironed sheets or just having a warm body next to her at night again, but since they started sleeping together, she had been having the best nights of her entire life. Even better than when she was with Scott. The sex was fantastic too, and even though Aaron hadn't known Tessa very long, he was a quick study and took direction _very_ well. He learnt what she liked and even offered some new things she had never experienced. She was shocked that was even possible at 31 years old.

 

The next morning, Tessa broached the Scott subject with her mom and Jordan and received the same response from both of them. _Don't do it._ They both insisted that Tessa had never been happier and that the return of Scott could mean the end of Aaron. Tessa and Scott never had done well trying to date others outside of their relationship while they were skating. Aaron was the first relationship that Tessa had that was completely void of Scott. It was also probably one of the healthiest she had ever had too.

 

Later that afternoon Tessa was curled up on the sofa next to a roaring fire with a half finished mug of hot chocolate sitting beside her on the side table. She had her journal in her lap as she rolled her pen between her fingers. The journal was new and pink. It was supposed to be for 2021, but since it was New Years Eve tonight, and everything she was about to write would set the tone for this new year, she figured she may as well use it. She opened the cover, breathing deeply to inhale the familiar new paper smell and began to write.

 

_December 31, 2020_

 

_Last night I had coffee with Scott. I feel I am standing at the precipice of a slippery slop. He told me he needs surgery and I feel I need to be there to support him like he was there to support me during mine. Well, one of mine. The second one, when he finally fought for me._

 

_When I was seven and he was nine, he broke up with me, he didn't fight for us then, he willingly let me go._

 

_Before my first surgery, he was supposed to come back to London with mom and I. The night before we left, I was scared out of my mind. I told him that maybe he shouldn't come with. If something happened during the surgery, I didn't want him to have the last memory of me being in a hospital gown. I told him to stay in Canton and not to come see me after. I didn't want him to think of me differently, with scars on my legs to match the ones he had made on my heart. He listened. He didn't fight for me or for us. I wanted him to yell at me and tell me no and that I was being ridiculous. I wanted him to insist he be there to hold my hand and comfort me before and after. We were partners. He should have wanted to fight for me, but he gave in willingly and let me go. Again._

 

_In 2010 he was there for the second surgery. I had told him to stay away, to not be there, to not see me so weak and vulnerable, but he fought for me, for us. He told me to stop being ridiculous and that he owed it to me to be there. He held my hand until I was wheeled away and he held my hand tightly as I woke up from the anesthetic. He told me how proud he was of me, for being so brave and doing this surgery again for us. For him. It wasn't until several years later that I learned how scared he was (during both surgeries) that I would leave and never come back (he meant both dying on the table and not being able to return to the ice because the surgeries didn't work). He admitted it was somewhat of an irrational fear and had no basis - I had never left him before. If anything, I should have been the one scared that he was going to leave me again as he had done repeatedly in the past._

 

_Fall 2015 he fought for us, for me. He came back to skating to be close to me. He wanted another gold as much as he wanted another chance to be with me. I told him yes to skating but no to me, at first. I gave in when he needed comfort during one of the lowest moments his life. I knew how much his heart was hurting from the loss of Cale and then GMac. On and off we turned towards each other for comfort, but officially, we were not together. I wasn't ready to define us like that. He reluctantly agreed to let ourselves remain undefined. I finally agreed after the Olympics that we could be officially something, partners was the best term we agreed on, but he wanted more. I think he truly was his best self during those three months we were together. I don't know if I was my best self though._

 

_At the end of June 2018 I told him I needed a bit of time and space. We shouldn't be making the more formal decisions he was asking me to make during a time of transition. We both should have taken some time, I wasn't saying we needed to stop being a couple or stop having sex, but he took it that way. He didn't fight for me or for us, he just yelled about me always 'being like this' and stormed out of my hotel room. He let me go. He let us go._

 

_After several days of breathing on my own we smoothed things over on the flight back to Canada. I asked him if we could talk about ‘us’ after my trip to France. He was pouty about it, but agreed. After France I knew I still needed time and asked we push back until after TTYCT. I knew something was off (distant) between us. I thought at first he was just being immature about me not being ready for what he wanted from me. Turns out he was having a long-distance relationship and didn't have the balls to tell me until I confronted him. He insisted it wasn't serious, so I brushed off her appearance in Nashville, but when she showed up for our WOF weekend, I knew. He had officially given up on me. On us._

 

_He continued to make poor choices in 2019. He barely made the flight to Mallorca for the GKP trip. His latest girlfriend (that he had insisted on bringing along, even though they had only been together for two weeks) had forgotten her passport and they had to drive home from the airport to find it. As I sat on the plane alone, I wondered what happened to the man Scott was in the first half of 2018. He was just a shell of that man now. Sure, he was still my prince on the ice, but off...his eyes were hollow, he rarely smiled, his spark was gone. He claimed he was happy, but I couldn’t believe him. I knew him better than that._

 

_Our 2019 tours went okay; sales were lower than anticipated. Word had spread of Scott's misbehaviour in bars and public places with his random girlfriends. I asked him multiple times to be more discreet, we had a brand to maintain, but more importantly he had his own image to uphold for coaching. I didn't want to see him throw away his only opportunity for a future career in coaching._

 

_If the pattern holds, it feels like we're heading towards him fighting for us, for me, again. Maybe it's time to break this pattern._

 

Tessa felt Aaron enter the living room before she looked up from her journal. He sat in the big grey arm chair his decorator had chosen for him. Tessa had told Aaron many times how much she loved his decorator's choices of everything in his house. It was as if the items had been chosen with her in mind. A neutral pallet with splashes of colour in the artwork and accessories, the overall theme being a sophisticated French chic, but with clean lines and void of florals that would have tipped the entire home towards a more feminine side. Tessa had taken care of that by keeping fresh flowers in several rooms of the house. Aaron hadn't protested and she often caught him with his nose in the various bouquets, so she knew he enjoyed them too.

 

She looked up at him and smiled as he sat down.

 

"How's it going with your mulling?" he asked, reaching a hand over to rub her knee.

 

"I'm still not fully certain, but I'm leaning towards 2021 being the year where I put myself first and don't allow myself to become tangled up with Scott's dependency issues again. It's a pattern, and maybe it's time to stop it."

 

"You know yourself best," he nodded as he continued to rub her knee. "I stand behind whatever decision you make, Tess."

 

"Did you get everything we need?" she asked hopefully as she purposely changed the subject. She had been looking forward to tonight's adventure for over a week now.

 

Aaron nodded. "Ready to be my sous chef?"

 

Tessa grinned. Aaron's best kept secret had been the French cooking classes he had taken for two semesters when he had thought pursuing a career as a chef was what he wanted to do. He realized that while he loved cooking, he didn't want to make a career of it. He found it more satisfying to play with numbers and figures and write reports. He loved being a project manager and helping to solve problems related to flooding and river erosion. He loved the opportunity to be outdoors during field work, even if he did less of that now compared to when he was a junior engineer.

 

Aaron was a fantastic teacher, Tessa soon realized, and she wasn't nearly as helpless in the kitchen as she had always led everyone to believe. He had playfully teased her about the Hello Fresh meals and showed her how easy it was to cook from scratch without the aid of ingredients from a cardboard box. He praised her and guided her through every step as she moved from learning how to properly hold a knife to making a remoulade to cooking sous vide. Aaron insisted nothing was off limits, if she liked to eat something, they would learn how to recreate it at home as well. He loved trying new recipes like the lobster bisque, pork wellington, and blueberry clafoutis she had picked out for them to try together tonight.

 

Aaron was as much of a homebody as Tessa; partying it up on New Years Eve was never his scene. They had planned to cook together then feast and ring in the new year together over a vintage bottle of Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin while snuggling in front of the fireplace. Tessa felt her life right now was like something out of a novel and she didn't dare change anything for fear of causing an imbalance and ruining the newfound happiness she was enjoying.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Scott goes in for his surgery. Will that be the the turning point in VM's relationship? (Answer: Yes!)


	3. All I Ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It matters how this ends  
> 'Cause what if I never love again?  
> Let this be our lesson in love  
> Let this be the way we remember us  
> I don't wanna be cruel or vicious  
> And I ain't asking for forgiveness  
> All I ask is  
> If this is my last night with you  
> Hold me like I'm more than just a friend  
> Give me a memory I can use

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title and summary from Adele's All I Ask

**Chapter 3: All I Ask**

 

She wasn't going to go to the hospital, she thought just a phone call the night before would be enough. _It wasn't._

 

He picked up on the first ring, as if he had been waiting for her to call.

 

"Hey Virtch."

 

She could tell from the tone of his voice that he was covering up his nerves and fear.

 

"Hi Scott. I just wanted to tell you that I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I'm sure it will all go well."

 

She had prepared ahead of time what she wanted to say to him but she hadn't prepared herself mentally for his tears. He was now sobbing uncontrollably into the phone.

 

"Scott...Scott...please. Please stop. I know you're scared. Can you talk to me instead of crying though?" She took a deep breath and closed her eyes; a slight feeling of regret mixed with a heavy dose of guilt was ravaging her stomach. She hated to hear him so upset. "Maybe we can work through whatever is bothering you?" she offered softly. No matter what, she did still care about him, she did still love him.

 

She heard him quietly apologize and then swear.

 

"Tess?" His voice was small, like he was ten years old again.

 

"I'm here."

 

"I'm scared, T. I've never had my body chopped open before. I've never been fully put under like this before."

 

"I know, but Scott, it's not like this is open heart surgery or a removal of a limb. It's arthroscopic and you should be done within an hour."

 

"And what if they put me to sleep and I don't wake up? What if they can't fix my arm? What if I can't lift you anymore?"

 

"Scott. I thought we agreed that we were done ice dancing together?"

 

"Yes...but that door was never _fully_ closed. We could go back and do shows or skate just for us if we wanted. I mean, if you agreed to it. If _we_ changed our minds."

 

"You're scared of the possibility of never being on the ice with me again?"

 

"Yeah, I guess?"

 

"Even though we mutually decided to stop for good?"

 

"I know I fucked up more times than should ever be forgivable, especially in the last two years, but I guess in my heart I hoped you might come around eventually and maybe we could do anniversary skates or something. Even if it was just us."

 

" _Oh, Scott."_

 

"I just miss you so fucking much, T," he sobbed into the phone.

 

Tessa sighed and fully regretted what she was about to suggest, but deep down she knew she was still his best friend until the end.

 

"Where are you right now, Scott?"

 

"At my parents'."

 

"It's almost 9pm, I can meet you in about an hour and we can go skate one last time before your surgery. Is the rink still available Monday nights?"

 

"Yeah the rink is still clear after 9pm. You'd do that for me, T? You'd grant a dying man his one last wish?"

 

"Oh for fuck's sake Scott, you're not dying," Tessa huffed into the phone. "Stop being so dramatic. I get that you're anxious about the surgery and being off the ice while you heal. Just promise me you won't do anything stupid tonight and make your shoulder worse?"

 

"I'll try not to babe."

 

Tessa sucked in a breath of air sharply at his use of her old pet name. It brought back a flood of memories. It was one of the reasons she had asked Aaron to not use sweetie or babe with her.

 

"I'm sorry Tess, slip of the tongue. Old habits are hard to break."

 

 _Tell me about it_ , she thought to herself as she pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger.

 

*

 

"Why do you not have your arm in a sling?" she asked him as he met her in front of the doors to the Ilderton arena. She had been standing outside in the cold for ten minutes now and she was shivering, her teeth chattering. She should have known he would be late and should have waited in her warm car. He had been early to their coffee date; she thought maybe he had changed.

 

"It itches my neck," Scott grumbled as he fished the rink keys out of his pocket.

 

He pushed the key in the lock but couldn't turn it and pull the heavy door open with one hand.

 

"Here, let me," Tessa gently swatted his bare hand away from the door with her mitten clad one. She let them in and disabled the alarm. They walked quietly towards the ice, flicking on just the necessary lights as they went.

 

Scott sighed loudly as he sat down on the bench. Tessa ignored him and started lacing up her skates. When she was finished she looked over at Scott, he had toed off his shoes and was staring straight ahead at the ice.

 

"You gonna lace up or what?"

 

"I can't," he whispered, his face was void of emotion.

 

Tessa's face fell as she realized he couldn't pull his laces tight with just one hand. "Oh. Right. Well...let me help you then."

 

"Tess..." Scott sighed. He hated being unable to do things for himself.

 

"Shhh, it's fine. Let me help you, that's what partners do for each other."

 

She knelt down in front of Scott and made quick work of his laces, he had to bite his tongue about them being too tight for his liking. She was here and doing this all for him. He knew the least he could do was not complain about her technique. She stood up and held out her hand towards him.

 

"Sorry, you'll have to hold my left hand tonight, T," he looked up at Tessa with sad puppy dog eyes.

 

"Well it won't be the first time I lead on the ice. Let's go," Tessa grabbed onto Scott's hand and pulled him to his feet.

 

They skated several laps around the rink in silence. "You know you're not as invincible as you once thought you were. You're 33 years old, stuff is going to need repairs eventually," Tessa joked as she bumped her shoulder against his good one.

 

"I know. My knees and hips are probably next on the repair list."

 

Tessa turned her head to look at Scott. "Are they giving you trouble?"

 

"Some stiffness, nothing crazy yet."

 

"Make sure you keep up with your Omega oils and Glucosamine."

 

"I haven't been taking those for a while, but I probably should start again. Thanks Dr T," Scott smiled as he squeezed Tessa's hand. "Hey, have you been skating without me? Why am I panting and you're not?"

 

Tessa smirked. "I've kept my regular workout routines and yes, I still skate."

 

"Alone?" he asked quickly, but still scared to hear the answer.

 

"Yes," she sighed. "I go alone. I've been travelling a lot this year so it's usually just whatever rink is closest to my hotel with a public skate time that works. I've managed to go mostly unnoticed, which is a nice change of pace."

 

"Does he skate?" Scott asked, also scared to hear the answer of that question; one that had been rolling around his mind since he first heard about Aaron.

 

"He does, we've gone a few times but I'll admit it feels strange."

 

Scott tried to suppress the pain he felt at hearing she had skated with someone else. "This is nice though, right? Us being back together on the ice, I mean."

 

"Of course," she was quick to reply. "Do you skate much?"

 

"No. Just beer league hockey and I'm on the ice for coaching, but it's mostly standing around."

 

"Do you need to stop? You seem winded," she asked, concerned with the way he was breathing.

 

"No," he insisted.

 

"Fine. Then I'm stopping and since I won't let you skate by yourself because you're injured, you're going to join me for a water break."

 

Scott sighed but didn't refuse because he was panting so hard. He was realizing just how out of shape he was. Tessa hadn't even broken a sweat.

 

They spent an hour and a half at the rink. Tessa helped Scott remove his skates and then insisted on driving him back to his parents' so she knew he made it there safely. He protested loudly but got in her car anyways. She pulled out of the parking lot, took a right turn and then another almost immediate right, pulling her car into the Moir's driveway.

 

"Thanks for the fifteen second ride home, T."

 

She ignored his sarcastic comment. "I had a nice time skating with you tonight. Felt almost like old times."

 

"Good old times?" he asked cautiously.

 

"Yeah," she admitted, nodding her head.

 

They sat in silence for a moment before Scott reached over and opened the car door.

 

"Wait!"

 

He turned to look at her; curious as to what more she could have to say.

 

"Be on your best behaviour tomorrow, okay?"

 

Scott nodded. "It would help if you were there, you know, to help keep me in line, but, I mean, it's last minute so I assume you're busy."

 

"Don't assume things, Scott."

 

He shifted in his seat, turning his body to face her. "I'm supposed to check-in at 7am."

 

"University?"

 

He nodded.

 

"I'll meet you at admitting," she said quietly as she closed her eyes for a brief moment, feeling a mixture of regret for agreeing and relief that he still needed her and they were maybe not as broken as she thought.

 

Her eyes flew open as she felt his lips on her cheek. He had kissed her there probably a million times over the past 23 plus years. She knew it meant nothing yet it meant something just the same.

 

"Thank you," he whispered, and then as quick as the winter wind that was whipping around outside, he was gone.

 

She pressed her fingers to the spot on her cheek where his lips had been moments ago, unsure exactly what to make of the mixed feelings she had bubbling to the surface.

 

*

 

"I'm proud of you, Tess," Aaron mumbled against the shell of Tessa's ear as they cuddled in bed later that night. "He needed you, and you put him first, above your own need for space from him."

 

"I'm thinking that shows my weakness to resist him."

 

"I think it shows the opposite. You are strong and loyal and you love unconditionally. Very admirable qualities that I am _very_ attracted to."

 

" _Oh really?"_ she gasped as he bit playfully on her ear, his hands wandering lower on her body.

 

"Mmm-hmm, let me show you how much?"

 

"I'd love for you to show me."

 

*

 

Aaron and Tessa arrived at the hospital the next morning at 6:59am. Tessa looked at her watch. "He'll be seven minutes late," she said to Aaron as they took a seat in the waiting area. Aaron raised an eyebrow at Tessa and checked his own watch; he was intrigued with her precise guess.

 

Sure enough, Scott and Alma entered through the hospital doors at 7:07am. Now it was Tessa's turn to raise her eyebrow at Aaron as he rolled his eyes and grinned. Aaron was like Tessa, he always showed up on time or a few minutes early to appointments. He could never fathom arriving fashionably late anywhere, especially for a medical appointment.

 

They stood to greet them; Tessa introduced Aaron to Scott and Alma. It felt somewhat awkward, but she had kept in touch with Alma who still had weekly visits with Kate. Alma had known about Aaron for quite a while now but had never met him.

 

Scott's typical behaviour was not lost on Tessa. She saw his jaw clench and the muscles in his entire body twitch as he became rigid. She saw his eyes cloud over, she hadn't told him that Aaron would be with her this morning. She hadn't known herself until just before she left the house, Aaron had noticed how stressed Tessa was and offered to accompany her to the hospital. His company had a family first approach to business and if he needed a few hours off, he could take it, no hard questions asked. Being a principal partner in a company had many benefits; flexibility was one of them.

 

Once Scott was admitted, the four made their way upstairs to the day-surgery ward in awkward silence. It wasn't until Scott was wearing his hospital gown and settled into his bed that he broke the silence.

 

"Would it be okay if I have a few moments alone with Tess?" Scott asked as he looked directly at Aaron.

 

Tessa and Aaron were seated in the far corner of Scott's room on a pair of chairs; they had a quick conversation with their eyes. Scott watched as Aaron pressed a kiss to Tessa's forehead and then left the room with Alma following close behind, pulling the door to the room closed.

 

"What did you need to say to me that you couldn't say in front of them?" Tessa asked in an exasperated tone as she flung her arm towards the closed door. She was trying hard not to keep secrets from Aaron and she definitely didn't feel right about Scott asking his mother to leave.

 

"I love you, Tess."

 

"I know. I love you too."

 

"No, you don’t get it. I'm still in love with you Tess, I still want to marry you and grow old with you in my arms. I can't be truly happy until I have you back," Scott admitted quietly.

 

"Don't put your unhappiness on me, Scott. You walked away from us repeatedly. You chose yourself over me. Over us. I needed time and you were in too much of a hurry. You always have to do everything at top speed."

 

"How long did you expect me to wait? Another 21 years?"

 

At that point Scott was yelling and Tessa was on the verge of tears.

 

"Please keep your voice down. We're in a public place," she hissed.

 

"There you go again, always so concerned with the brand."

 

Tessa had heard enough. She was done arguing in circles and closed herself off to Scott. She turned to leave the room and gripped the door handle.

 

"Wait. Please? I'm sorry, T. I know we're not making good use of our time. Just...please listen. You don't have to say anything."

 

Tessa kept her back turned to Scott; she didn't feel like having him see the tears streaming down her face.

 

"Tess...every word I sung to you during Moulin Rouge was true. I will love you until my dying day. If that day is today, then you just need to know the truth. I do want to fight for us, I always will. But you...you have to give me something to work with. I'm not built to just float along in our relationship. I need to have goals; I need to know there is a next step to work towards and to look forward to. If you want me, if you want us, you have to make the first move. I'm done asking. You need to come to me with a timeline that you'll stick to. I'm not saying pick dates, I'm just saying loosely but don’t keep pushing them back. If you're scared then let's talk about it together. And if you're happy with Aaron and if you have decided that you want to choose him over me, then that's okay too. I can be happy for you, I love you too much to not see you happy, T."

 

Tessa closed her eyes and took three calming breaths before releasing the door handle and turned back towards Scott

 

"You're not dying, Scott. Can you please stop thinking like that? Are you trying to wish it into reality?"

 

"Maybe. It would put me out of my misery, yeah."

 

"Scott! Why the hell would you say that? Think about how you felt when you lost Cakey...do you want your parents and brothers to feel that way about losing you?"

 

"No," he said quietly.

 

"Do you want me to feel that way?"

 

"No! Never! I—”

 

"Then just fucking stop with this dying nonsense!" Tessa slumped into the chair next to Scott's bed.

 

"Tess..."

 

"You don't think I know the risks of surgery? I've signed those waivers before, Scott. I've been in your position with more to lose than the ability to lift my arm over my head. Stop being so dramatic and selfish and tell me what this is really all about."

 

Scott just stared straight ahead. "I don't know, T. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself and it got me thinking about how unfulfilled I feel. There's so much in life that I still want, I just haven't been able to accomplish it."

 

"Are you blaming me for that?"

 

"No! I mean, yes the things I want...I wanted them with you. No one else seems to measure up to you and what we had."

 

"Have. We're both still here, Scott."

 

"No, I do mean had. We _had_ a romantic relationship and I guess I am responsible for ending that."

 

"It takes two for a relationship to work or fail," Tessa said quietly.

 

"I have a lot of regrets that I wish I didn't have."

 

"I think everyone does, Scott."

 

"Tess, would you—"

 

"Alright Mr Moir, we are ready to put you back together!" the surgeon cheerfully announced as he waltzed into the room with his entourage.

 

There was a flurry of activity and a few laughs over Scott trying to write no and yes on his arms with a black sharpie, so the surgeon knew which one to operate on. Tessa slipped out into the hallway with Aaron as Alma had a few moments alone with her youngest son once the surgeon had left.

 

Aaron pulled Tessa in for a hug, knowing her conversation with Scott had been taxing. He had also heard a fair bit. "Hospital walls are thin, T." He rubbed his hands on her back as she groaned into his chest.

 

"How much of that did you hear?" she asked.

 

"Most of it," Aaron admitted.

 

"Shit. I'm sorry. My relationship with Scott is a bit of a disaster right now."

 

"Don't apologize. I mostly knew what I was getting myself into," Aaron said as he kissed the top of Tessa's head.

 

"He's just in a bad place and I don't really know how to help him or what to do," Tessa admitted, she was feeling helpless and worried about her oldest friend.

 

"Be there for him. Offer him the emotional support he needs from his friend. Encourage him to see his therapist. Suicidal thoughts do not seem healthy, Tess."

 

"I know. He really scared me with that," Tessa looked up at Aaron with tears in her eyes.

 

Alma came out of the room and looked at Tessa who was wrapped up in Aaron's arms. "He's asking for you Tess."

 

"Thanks Alma," she stopped to give Alma a hug before entering Scott's room again. This time she left the door open.

 

"You ready, Moir?" Tessa asked as she leaned on the doorframe.

 

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess. Come closer?" He asked as he patted the space on the bed beside him.

 

Tessa hesitated for a moment but gave in to his request. She sat gingerly beside Scott on the bed. "You'll be fine," she said confidently as she laid one of her hands over his heart. "I'll be here waiting for you."

 

Scott put his left hand over top of Tessa's and threaded their fingers together. She ran the fingers on her free hand through his too-short hair and then over his too-smooth face. She regretted her next move as it was happening, but somehow her body was moving on it's own accord and she didn't seem able to stop it. Her lips found his easily as she pressed them together in a chaste kiss. Neither had much chance to process what was happening as the porter entered the room. Tessa stood up quickly, startled from his presence and her actions. Scott's fingers were still intertwined with Tessa's. She looked down at him and offered a forced smile that looked more like a grimace. She gave his hand a quick squeeze and then backed away to allow the porter to transfer Scott to the bed he brought into the room.

 

Tessa watched as Scott was wheeled away down the hallway and around the corner without either of them saying anything to one another about what had just happened between them.

 

Tessa looked at her watch for what seemed the millionth time that morning. "It's been over an hour and a half now," she announced, mostly for her own benefit.

 

Alma patted her knee. "Positive thoughts, dear. That's all we can do. I'm sure everything is fine. Maybe it just took longer to knock his stubborn self out."

 

Tessa laughed a genuine big laugh. "I do hope that's all it is."

 

Over two hours after Scott had been wheeled away, he finally returned. The wheels on the bed squeaking announced his return before they saw the porter pushing the bed back down the hallway and into Scott's room.

 

The doctor arrived soon after to explain how they ran into some issues with the repair, it was worse than they first thought, and he could not do the surgery through the intended arthroscopic method. They had to switch to the traditional open surgical method, which left Scott with three small incisions and one incision several centimeters long.

 

He mentioned that Scott was also running a slight fever in post op and they were monitoring him for that. Otherwise the surgeon was relatively pleased with the results, despite the extent of the injury, and expected a nearly full recovery, depending on how well Scott cooperated with physiotherapy.

 

Alma and Tessa hugged each other and cried with relief that Scott made it through okay. Aaron offered to do a coffee run while the women sat with Scott, waiting for him to fully wake up.

 

"Joe and I have to be out of town at the end of this week for a funeral," Alma admitted to Tessa over Scott's sleeping body. "Bad timing, but we can't always chose when it's our time to go, I suppose."

 

Tessa looked up at Alma, she had been staring at both of her hands as they were wrapped around Scott's left hand. Alma had admitted to Tessa that she felt a bit shocked when Scott had asked her if it would be okay for Tessa to hold his hand until he woke up instead of Alma. She knew how strained their relationship had been lately, and was relieved that Tessa was okay with Scott's request when she asked her a few moments ago.

 

"Would it be too much of an imposition for me to ask you to phone him while we're away? You know, just to check up on him?" Alma asked hesitantly.

 

"No, not at all! Is he staying home alone while you're away?"

 

"Yes, Charlie and Nicole are both working and I figured with the three rambunctious kids it might be too hard for Scott to rest properly at their place anyways. Carol and Cara said they would stop in and check on him too."

 

"Alma," Tessa said softly as her thumb rubbed back and forth over Scott's knuckles. "I'll be home. He could come stay with me, us, for a few days. I could look after him, drive him to whatever appointments he has. I mean, I should probably clear that with Aaron first, but I'm sure he'd be okay with it. He has been very supportive of me reconnecting with Scott."

 

"Oh, Tess, that's a very generous offer. I don't know, are you sure?"

 

"Scott would do the same for me," Tessa said without hesitation.

 

"You're right. Well, you discuss things with Aaron and I can talk to Scott about it later today."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scott having a sleepover at Tessa and Aaron's? What could possibly go wrong? lmao


	4. It's in my roots, it's in my veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I should probably tell you now before it's way too late  
> That I never meant to hurt you or lie straight to your face  
> Consider this my apology, I know it's years in advance  
> But I'd rather say it now in case I never get the chance  
> No, I can't go back, but the reeds are growing out of my fingertips  
> I can't go back to the river  
> But it's in my roots, it's in my veins  
> It's in my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title and summary from River Lea by Adele

**Chapter 4: It's in my roots, it's in my veins**

 

"Tess?" his voice was low and raspy as he tried to force himself awake. His body was still heavy with sleep and his eyes just refused to open.

 

"I'm here," she responded quickly, squeezing his hand with hers, mindful of the IV line that was still inserted there. "I'm here. You're okay, it's okay."

 

Alma felt a sense of relief that Scott was talking and coming out of the anesthetic. However she felt more relief that Tessa was here with them, providing comfort to her youngest son. She knew that regardless in what directions Tessa and Scott went in life, they would always be able to put their differences and schedules aside if either one truly needed the other for the comfort they had provided each other over the years.

 

*

 

"He's here!" Tessa announced excitedly out loud, although she wasn't really sure why she just did that since she was the only one home.

 

She happened to have an abnormally slow week in amongst several busy ones. It gave her a chance to catch up on emails and other paperwork, and now she would have a house guest for a few days to fill up the rest of her time. She ran to the door and held it open, not even noticing the cold January wind nipping at her bare feet.

 

She watched as Scott slowly got out of the car, Alma holding the car door open for him, while Joe pulled his suitcase out of the trunk. The three Moirs made their way up the front walk to where Tessa was waiting in the doorway.

 

"Hope you found it okay? This new neighbourhood is a bit confusing," Tessa admitted.

 

"GPS couldn't map it and Joe-man took two wrong turns because apparently he knew better than me which way to go," Scott grumbled as he stepped inside.

 

"Well, I'm glad you made it in the end. Nice to see you again Alma and Joe," Tessa said with a grin.

 

Joe pulled Tessa in for a hug. "I missed seeing you at the hospital the other day. It's been too long, Tess."

 

"It has," Tessa agreed.

 

"So, what does a single guy need with a three-car garage and a massive house, Tess?" Scott grumbled as he looked around the large foyer.

 

"You're one to talk, Moir," Tessa was quick to defend Aaron’s large home. He had worked hard to purchase the house of his dreams.

 

"My place isn’t nearly this big."

 

" _Scott_ ," Alma warned, she knew he was in one of his moods, grumpy from the pain and lack of mobility and frustrated from being unable to do things for himself and now somewhat embarrassed that his long-time skating partner had to essentially babysit him while his parents were out of town. "We need to get going we have a plane to catch. Tess, thanks again for taking Scott under your wing."

 

"Don't mention it Alma, I'm happy to do so."

 

"I made up a list for you, Tess, things he shouldn’t be doing because he'll probably insist otherwise, and he needs to keep up with his fiber—” Alma said as she handed a folded piece of paper to Tessa.

 

"Geez Ma," Scott huffed.

 

"And information for sleeping and bathing," Alma continued, ignoring Scott's protest.

 

"Okay, I love you but please go catch your flight before you embarrass me further," Scott whined.

 

"Nothing to be embarrassed about sweetie," Alma said gently as she hugged Scott goodbye.

 

Tessa hugged Alma and Joe and then closed the door behind them as they left to catch their flight to New Brunswick for the funeral.

 

Tessa skimmed over the lengthy list in her hand. "So...prunes and a sponge bath?" she smirked and then burst into a fit of giggles.

 

"Not funny Virtch," Scott scowled and internally cursed his mom for insisting on sending a list.

 

"I know," Tessa gasped for air through her laughing fit as she grabbed Scott's suitcase. "I'm sorry."

 

"No, you're not," he said as he poked his finger in her ribs causing her to shriek and nearly drop his suitcase.

 

"Truce?" she asked with a grin as she looked back at him over her shoulder.

 

"Fine," Scott grumbled as he followed Tessa down the hallway.

 

"I thought it might be easier for you to stay in the guest room on the main floor here," she said as she lifted his suitcase up onto a small side table and proceeded to unzip it for him.

 

"My legs work fine, but thanks."

 

"Alma told me over the phone last night that you need to sleep sitting upright still, so it's up to you if you'd rather sleep here propped up in the bed with extra pillows or if you'd rather use the reclining chair in the family room." Tessa was talking a mile a minute. Scott barely got in an _okay_ before she was onto talking about how she'd set up the main floor bathroom with extra towels and toiletries incase he forgot anything.

 

"Tess. Tess. Just stop," he said through gritted teeth.

 

"What’s wrong?" she asked, unsure of what she said to upset him.

 

"Are you really okay with me being here?"

 

"Why wouldn’t I be?"

 

"You're nervous. You're talking so fast I can barely keep up. You're wringing your hands and pacing back and forth. Do you forget who you're talking to here?"

 

"I'm sorry, Scott. I just want to be a good hostess and yeah, this feels really weird now that you're actually here in Aaron's, I mean our house, but I—”

 

"You can still back out, you know. I can call for a ride home. You don’t have to do this."

 

"No. _We're doing this_. I just need to get past the weirdness. It's fine. It will be fine. Besides, Aaron has been looking forward to hanging out with you tonight. He hopes you two can be friends, or at least get along and not have that awkwardness hanging between you two like there was at the hospital earlier this week. Oh, but please don't tell him I told you that," Tessa added, realizing what she had just disclosed.

 

"Okay. Um, so, do you want to give me a tour of your _palace?"_

 

"Yeah, yeah, sure I could do that," Tessa said quickly as she turned and led the way out of the room, grateful Scott had recognized that their conversation was becoming borderline uncomfortable and she was having trouble coming up with her own exit strategy.

 

After the house tour, Tessa helped Scott settle into the reclining chair for a nap.

 

"Are you sure you don’t need anything else?" Tessa asked for the second time as she re-tucked the blanket around Scott for the third time.

 

"I'm fine, T. Stop fussing so much," Scott grinned, knowing she'd make a good mother one day, hoping he'd still be in her life to be able to witness even a glimpse of her in that role.

 

Scott hadn’t been sleeping for long when he woke up to a smell. He couldn’t quite place it, it wasn’t quite burning but something strong was definitely emanating from the kitchen and he knew it couldn't be Tessa; she couldn't cook. _Unless she was burning something_. He launched himself out of his chair too fast and really awkwardly, cringing as the stitches on his incision tugged more than he intended. He rushed towards the kitchen and could hear sizzling and see steam or smoke; he wasn't sure which it was.

 

"What in God's name are you doing Tessa?"

 

She yelped in surprise and dropped the tongs she was using to sear the roast beef she was preparing for dinner.

 

" _Scott!"_ she admonished as she bent down to pick up the tongs, and tossed them into the sink. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" She yanked open one of the kitchen drawers and pulled out a clean pair of tongs, and then proceeded to lift the roast out of the pot and lay it down into the roasting pan she had prepared with root vegetables and herbs.

 

Scott stared at Tessa as she moved comfortably around the kitchen, then she added a few extra sprigs of rosemary on top of the roast before placing the dish in the oven. She set the timer and put the empty pot in the sink before turning around to look at Scott. She quirked an eyebrow at him, silently asking him why he wasn't napping.

 

"Who are you, and what have you done with _my_ Tessa?" he asked as he glared at her.

 

" _Your_ Tessa? Since when have I ever been anyone's property?"

 

Scott ignored her snark and waved his hand towards the oven. "What was all that?"

 

"I'm making a roast for dinner? You still eat red meat, right? I'm sorry, I guess I should have confirmed the menus ahead of time with you before we did our meal planning."

 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back the bus up a second here T. Menu? Meal planning? You made a fucking roast? What is the name of the thing you dropped on the floor?"

 

"Tongs?" she answered, fully confused as to where Scott was going with all of this.

 

"Okay, it's confirmed. You are either not Tessa or I'm dreaming."

 

"Neither. I just finally learned to cook and I'm actually am quite good at it. Aaron has been teaching me, he went to chef school, you know," she crossed her arms over her chest, annoyed that he would think she was still the same old Tessa who could only cook poached eggs.

 

"And how the hell would I know that? How the hell would I know anything about you anymore?" Scott barked as he turned to walk out of the kitchen.

 

"Wait. Please? I'm sorry. That came out wrong."

 

Scott stopped and quietly said, "I regret us drifting apart. If I could take anything back from our 23 years, it would be that." Scott turned back around and looked at Tessa, tears filling his eyes. "I should have given you the time and space you asked for in Japan, I regret that choice I made. Just so you know...and I'm sorry."

 

"Oh, Scott," Tessa said quietly as she crossed the kitchen and pulled Scott against her for a hug, mindful of his incisions.

 

"You do give the best hugs, T," his voice was muffled by her shoulder.

 

"My hugs are only the best with you," she whispered.

 

The pair let their heartbeats and breathing synch up. Scott nuzzled the crook of Tessa's neck as Tessa closed her eyes and it felt as if they were instantly transported back three years to when their partnership was in a better place as they readied themselves to fly out to Korea for their final Olympics.

 

Tessa pulled away first, sensing that type of hug was maybe not so appropriate now that she was living with another man. "Do you want to finish your nap? I'm sorry if I woke you."

 

"It's okay. I’m not overly tired. Maybe I’ll just a sit for a bit, watch a movie with me?"

 

Tessa nodded. "Sure, did you have something in mind?"

 

"I'm feeling nostalgic for one of your old movies, Roman Holiday maybe?"

 

"Oh," Tessa said sadly. "They're all back at my place. Aaron doesn't care for old movies or Audrey, so I didn't bother moving them over here."

 

Scott turned to look at Tessa in disbelief. " _Tessa_. He doesn't like old movies? So you gave them up for him?" Scott shook his head. "What do you guys watch then?"

 

"Crime dramas and thrillers mostly, I guess. He really likes political movies too."

 

"None of those are really your thing though, T."

 

"I know, but sometimes a person has to make sacrifices," she sighed as she fiddled with the edge of her shirt sleeve.

 

"So why can't he make a sacrifice and let you choose the movie you want?"

 

"He lets me choose. I just pick ones I know he'll like," she admitted as she cringed, knowing full well how that sounded and how Scott would respond.

 

"That's fucked up." Scott walked out of the family room, towards the guest bedroom.

 

Tessa followed right behind him. "What are you doing?" she asked as she watched him rummage awkwardly with one hand in his backpack.

 

"I'm getting my laptop out. I have a bunch of your movies still loaded on there. _You're_ going to pick one that _you_ want to watch and _we'll_ watch it together. The way a couple should."

 

Scott realized as soon as the words left his mouth that he had muddled what he wanted to say and implied something he hadn't meant to.

 

"I'm sorry, that's not—” he rushed out in an attempt to fix the mess he had just created.

 

"It's fine," she said putting her hand on his forearm. "I know what you're trying to say and I appreciate that as my _friend_ , you've never minded watching my genre of movies with me."

 

They ended up picking Pride and Prejudice because Tessa lingered for a long time over that title and Scott knew she wanted to watch it but also knew that she knew it wasn't his favourite. He insisted it was her choice and hit the play button for her. He held the laptop on his lap and she sat stiffly beside him on the sofa for the first twelve minutes into the film. He could feel the tension radiating off her in spades so he tried to ease it by putting his arm around her shoulder. She let out a shuddered sigh and pulled her feet up under her body as she snuggled into his side. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and relished in their closeness as he tried to pay attention to the movie instead of the way her hair smelled so fruity and familiar.

 

*

 

"Your mom's list says no alcohol because of your pain meds, but I bought you some chocolate milk," Tessa held up the jug she pulled out of the fridge and grinned at Scott.

 

"Oh, thanks but I don't drink that anymo—”

 

"Oh," Tessa said quietly as her face fell. "Since when?"

 

 _Since we broke up,_ was what Scott wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that he had to give up a lot of things over the past several months because they reminded him too much of her. But since Tessa's new boyfriend was sitting right beside him, staring at him, waiting to hear his response as to why he made Tessa's face looked so sad, he had to think quick.

 

"Uh, just trying to lose some weight, you know, new year's resolution and shit like that. But you know what, I'll take a glass for old time sake." He forced a smile on his face as he held his glass up to Tessa.

 

She could see right through his lie but didn't feel like questioning it further in front of Aaron.

 

*

 

"I'm supposed to go for a walk, get my blood flowing to help with healing," Scott said as he stood up from the dining room table. "This was an amazing meal, T. I never thought I'd see the day when you could cook like that."

 

"She's very good," Aaron said lovingly as he wrapped his hand around Tessa's and gave it a squeeze. "She picked everything up so quickly. I'm starting to run out of techniques to teach her."

 

"Aaron is just being modest. He still knows much more than I do."

 

"Tess honey, why don't you join Scott for his walk and I'll tidy up here," Aaron offered.

 

"Are you sure?" Tessa asked reluctantly.

 

"Yup, I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on," Aaron insisted.

 

"Alright," Tessa agreed as she kissed Aaron on the cheek.

 

The pair got ready without saying much, other than Tessa insisting that Scott have his jacket zipped up with his arm tucked inside and that he wear a toque to keep from catching a chill. Scott knew there were just some things you don't fight Tessa on, plus he was tired and her fussing over him was kinda turning him on.

 

"You should hold my hand," she insisted as they walked down the driveway.

 

"Um, why? Not that I mind holding your hand, but isn't that boyfriend stuff off the ice?" Scott stumbled over his words, trying to say it nicely so he wouldn't offend Tessa.

 

She slipped her mitted hand into his bare one, still not understanding how his hands stayed so warm when he never wore mitts. "It's icy on the sidewalks. If you fall on my watch and injure your newly repaired shoulder, that will be on me. I don't want to face the wrath of angry Alma Moir," she tried to say with a straight face but ended up giggling at the end.

 

"Geez, Virtch, you're mom's favourite and you know it. You could commit murder and she'd still love you and heap praises on you."

 

"You think?"

 

" _Please_ ," he scoffed as he rolled his eyes and squeezed her mitten. "So...what else can you cook?"

 

"A lot more than just poached eggs and most of what I make surprisingly turns out good. I've realized I just needed to go a little slower at first and have lots of practice when trying a new technique. Aaron and I cook at home most nights, it's nice now to have that opportunity and having someone who knows what they're doing take the lead."

 

"That's good. I'm happy knowing that you won't starve now that I'm not around."

 

"About that..."

 

"What about it?" Scott asked as he stopped walking, which tugged at Tessa's hand, pulling her back towards Scott in a little spin. Their noses were nearly touching, steamy breaths mingling.

 

"Um," she gasped as she stared into his eyes, she had forgotten how his hazel eyes got darker at night and how when he wore certain colours his eyes changed to look more green. She was never quite sure what colour she would see and she missed the unpredictability.

 

"Cat got your tongue?" his lips were hovering so close to hers and she couldn't breathe or think clearly.

 

"Something like that," she finally breathed out as her lips moved a fraction closer towards his on their own accord. She couldn't even remember what they were talking about but then she realized that while they were standing on ice, they were not in a rink so none of what they were doing could be easily explained away as part of a performance. She pulled away quickly. _She has a boyfriend._

 

"How long of a walk do you take?" she asked, obviously changing the subject as she tugged on his hand to get him walking again.

 

"Half hour or so?"

 

Seeing as how they were barely two minutes in and had already almost kissed, Tessa knew this was going to be a _long_ walk and the next few days would be even _longer_. She hoped the three of them would make it through to the end of Scott's visit without it ending in complete disaster. Mostly for her, as her heart was definitely being tugged in two separate directions.

 

When they returned to the house, Tessa called out to Aaron but there was no response. She shrugged it off; it _was_ a big house.

 

"So, you'll do it?" Tessa asked Scott as she helped him off with his coat.

 

"Yeah. Just don't tell mom."

 

Tessa glared at Scott. She was unimpressed. "Since when have I ever given up _any_ of our secrets?"

 

Scott shook his head. "Never. You never have. You're the best secret keeper there is."

 

Tessa smirked. "Okay then. Follow me."

 

Scott followed right behind Tessa, through the main floor and up the curved staircase to the master bedroom. He paused a moment at the doorway, but shoved aside the pangs of awkwardness. He followed Tessa into the master bathroom and watched silently as she ran the hot water to fill the bathtub. He continued watching her flit about the bathroom, setting towels within reach and checking the water temperature with her hand. His heart quickened as she poured some of her vanilla bath salts into her hand and then scattered them into the tub. He swallowed thickly as she bent over the tub and gave the water a quick swish around with her hand to dissolve the salts. His gaze shifted from her ass to her lean legs as he watched her rummage through one of the vanity drawers, she pulled out a lighter and lit the vanilla candle that was sitting on the marble counter top next to the sink.

 

She returned to the tub and shut off the water. "There. I think we're all set. Remember, don't get your shoulder wet. I'll close the door but I'll be in my room, so just yell if you need help or anything. Okay?"

 

"Um. Yeah, okay. Thanks, T."

 

"Don't mention it. I know how relaxed you always feel after a hot bath," she reached out and squeezed his wrist before leaving him standing alone in the bathroom to undress himself.

 

Aaron returned to the house after he took the garbage out and retrieved his briefcase from his car that he forgot earlier, and heard the water running upstairs. He knew that sound. It meant one thing only in his mind. _Tessa was taking a bath._ He didn't once think it was odd for her to be taking a bath while Scott was in their house. Nor did he question why he hadn't seen Tessa or Scott return from their walk. He ran upstairs, hoping she hadn't filled the tub too full and there would be room for him in there. He loved bath snuggling.

 

Normally he stopped in the closet first to strip his clothes off but today he went straight for the bathroom. He turned the knob and opened the door. He had expected to see his beautiful naked girlfriend surrounded by a cloud of vanilla bubbles, but that's not what he found there at all.

 

"Whoa! Sorry man!"

 

"Fuck!"

 

"You should have locked the door!"

 

"You should have knocked!"

 

"This is my house! My bathroom! My tub! Why would I knock?!"

 

"What's going on here?" Tessa asked as she joined the men in the bathroom, wearing only sweatpants and a bra.

 

"Where is your shirt, dear?" Aaron asked as he looked at Tessa with wide eyes, but still relieved to have something to look at other than a very naked Scott sitting in his, _their_ , bathtub.

 

"I was in the middle of changing when I heard all this shouting. Besides, both of you have seen me in less, so what's the big deal if I don't have a shirt on?" she put her hands on her hips as she looked at Aaron, then at Scott, then back at Aaron.

 

Aaron ignored her snark and continued to stare at Tessa, hoping she would offer an explanation for Scott being in their bathroom.

 

"What is he doing?" he finally asked through gritted teeth.

 

"Taking a bath?" she offered the most obvious answer.

 

"In our bathroom? What's wrong with the other bathtubs in this house?"

 

"This one is the most comfortable. You _know_ that," she responded, slightly annoyed that he would even think that she would offer a lesser quality bathtub to their houseguest who was recovering from shoulder surgery.

 

"I'm still here, in case you forgot?" Scott piped up from the tub.

 

"We know. We can see _all_ of you," Aaron grunted.

 

Scott looked down at his naked body in the tub. He didn't have a problem with being naked, he was comfortable in his skin, so he shrugged and then winced as his stitched tugged on his skin with the movement he had just made.

 

"Where are the bubbles, Tess? Why didn't you at least give him bubbles to cover up?" Aaron asked, exasperated at this point.

 

"Scott doesn't like bubbles, the popping sound annoys him."

 

"Of course he doesn't like bubbles. I should have _known_ you'd know that."

 

"Why wouldn't I know that? He's been my friend for over 20 years."

 

Scott felt awkward watching Tessa and Aaron argue in front of him while he was supposed to be relaxing to help him sleep better tonight. They continued arguing until Aaron finally just walked out of the bathroom, leaving Tessa fuming mad.

 

She sat down on the edge of the tub with a huff and a big sigh.

 

"Nice bra," Scott said with a smirk as he slipped one finger under the band, dragging it along the creamy freckled skin of her ribcage before letting the band snap back against her body. He was trying to distract her from the argument she just had with her boyfriend. He felt guilty for coming between the couple. Sort of.

 

Tessa smiled as she rolled her eyes and dipped her hand down into the bathtub. She flung a handful of water towards Scott's face, missing him mostly as he anticipated her move and shifted his body in time. "Nice dick," she said as she stood up to leave.

 

"We both miss you."

 

"Don't. Not now, Scott."

 

"Later then?" he asked hopefully, even though he knew the answer would be no.

 

She closed the bathroom door behind herself and didn't reply.

 

She returned about ten minutes later with a knock on the bathroom door. _Their knock._

 

"Entrez vous," he replied in a silly high pitched French accent.

 

She opened the door and waltzed into the bathroom as if the incident earlier never happened and as if Scott wasn't still lying naked in her bathtub, the one she usually shared with another man.

 

"I brought your pajamas and a clean pair of boxers," she said this as if it was the most normal thing in the world for her to have rifled through his suitcase and selected a pair of underwear for him to put on after he was done his bath. He wasn't sure if he should feel turned on by all of this or weirded out because she was treating him like her pseudo son or something. At least she had put a tank top on, but he noticed the bra was missing, so he wasn't sure if seeing her clearly defined nipples through the thin tank top was better than seeing her in just a bra and he couldn't stop himself from staring.

 

"Do you need help getting out of the tub?" she asked at the same time that Scott asked "Where's Aaron?"

 

"No," he lied.

 

"In his office pretending to work," she answered quickly as she hopped up onto the vanity counter.

 

"Tess..."

 

"It's fine. He'll be fine. We're all fine," she insisted, mostly to convince herself.

 

Scott pulled the plug on the bath and sat there until all the water had drained out. Tessa was still sitting on the vanity counter, staring straight ahead at the wall.

 

"So..." Scott started.

 

"Do you need me to?"

 

"Probably a good idea. Yeah. Sorry."

 

Tessa hopped off the counter, landing gracefully on her feet. She held out a hand to Scott, still avoiding eye contact with his eyes and the lower half of his body but she could feel his eyes still burning holes into her shirt.

 

"I'm sorry if I made things awkward between us, Tess," Scott apologized as he stepped out if the tub with Tessa's help.

 

"No, it's my fault for not warning Aaron or catching him in time. I'm sure he'll be fine. Guys see other guys all the time, right?"

 

"Probably not in his profession. Mine, sports, sure." He accepted the towel that Tessa handed him.

 

"Oh. Well he plays sports sometimes, so...Scott, do you have a problem with my breasts?" she snapped, as she put her hands on her hips which caused her breasts to bounce and his eyes to finally snap up to hers.

 

"Uh, no, they are just as gorgeous as before, if not better. Actually, definitely better," he nodded slowly, as his eyes flitted between her eyes and breasts. He loved retirement boobs on Tessa.

 

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes and stomped out of the bathroom, pulling the door closed behind her.

 

*

 

"Are you sure you're comfortable here?" Tessa asked Scott again as she laid an extra blanket across the foot of his bed incase he got cold, knowing full well he always ran hot and would likely only sleep with the sheet covering his nearly naked body.

 

"I'm fine, Tess. You should go find your boyfriend and make up with him or something before he kicks us both out of the house."

 

She glared at him but said nothing. He knew silent Tessa was often the worst version of her.

 

"I'm sorry I stared at your boobs earlier. In my defence, your choice of clothing makes it hard for a man to focus on much else. They look amazing."

 

Tessa's cheeks turned pink as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Sorry."

 

"Don't be. You've worked hard for your body, you can wear what you want when you want to. You just need to know I will always want you, especially when you dress like that. My desire for you is in my roots, in my veins." His eyes moved from hers to her breasts that were being squeezed by her arms.

 

" _Scott_ ," she warned.

 

"I know. You have a boyfriend. Just one thing?" he asked as he made eye contact again.

 

She nodded her head for him to go ahead, unsure of where he was taking this conversation.

 

"What's the deal with the ironed sheets?"

 

Tessa burst out laughing, her big belly laugh that was like sweet music to Scott's ears.

 

He grinned, knowing they were good for now.

 

Once she finally caught her breath she started closing the door to his room, leaving just her face peeking through the opening. "Just try them and tell me what you think in the morning. Good night, Scott."

 

"Night, T."

 

 


	5. Rolling in the Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't underestimate the things that I will do  
> There's a fire starting in my heart  
> Reaching a fever pitch and its bringing me out the dark  
> The scars of your love remind me of us  
> They keep me thinking that we almost had it all  
> The scars of your love they leave me breathless, I can't help feeling  
> We could have had it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title and chapter summary from Rolling in the Deep by Adele
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING: Things get...heated? That's all I'll say...if you get easily offended, just stop reading. I'm not forcing you to continue.

**Chapter 5: Rolling in the Deep**

 

Tessa could not sleep. Her brain would not shut off and it had been replaying the events of the last few hours on a loop. She had argued with Aaron again after she said good night to Scott. Aaron admitted he was uncomfortable with Tessa flirting with Scott. She denied she was flirting and then changed into something sexy to distract Aaron from talking more about the subject. She knew it was wrong and she needed to confront the feelings she had brewing for Scott, but she didn't even understand what they meant. Was she just dragging up old feelings because he was back in her life and she was falling back into their comfortable rhythm? Or was she developing new feelings? And where did Aaron fit into all of this? Was this the fork in the road she knew she was headed towards?

 

She sighed and decided she wanted a drink of water, but because she had developed a preference for the cold water from the fridge dispenser, she started making her way quietly downstairs. She knew Aaron was a very light sleeper and Scott was not, so she really only had to worry about not making noises for Aaron's benefit. He got grumpy if he missed out on sleep at night.

 

She arrived at the bottom of the stairs and was about to turn left towards the kitchen when she heard noises from her right. It sounded like someone called her name from the family room. _Scott_. Tessa immediately went into panic mode, thinking he had fallen or was in pain. She rushed towards the family room, definitely hearing Scott moan her name again.

 

She approached him from behind; he was sitting in the reclining chair that he had napped in earlier. _He must not have been comfortable in the bed_. As she got closer though she realized what was happening.

 

"Oh my God, Scott! What are you doing?!" she shrieked.

 

"Tess! Uh, I—” Scott looked around, but he had no other way to explain why he was jacking off in the middle of the night in her family room.

 

"Scott! Stop already!" she shrieked again.

 

He pulled his hand away from himself, confused as to why she was so horrified. She had watched him before, heck, she'd done it for him before. "I...um...I wasn't comfortable in the bed and then I couldn't sleep here either, and the smell of your vanilla scented bath salts were all over, suffocating me. All I could smell was _you_ and before I knew it I had a _situation_ that needed to be taken care of?"

 

Tessa rolled her eyes. "Can you at least put _it_ away while I'm talking to you?" she waived her hand towards his boxers.

 

"Sorry," Scott apologized as he adjusted himself and pulled the blanket up over his lap.

 

"What's going on down here? Everything okay?" Tessa's shrieks had woken up Aaron. He was now standing in the entrance to the room holding a big coffee table book about bridges in Europe in his hands.

 

"What's with the book?" Scott asked as he adjusted the blanket over his body again to hide the evidence of his arousal.

 

"I thought there was an intruder and I grabbed this book to knock them over the head?” he offered sleepily, realizing as he said it, that it was a ridiculous weapon of choice.

 

Tessa laughed at Aaron’s response. "Just us, sorry I was too loud."

 

"Why are you down here anyways, Tess?” Aaron asked as he rubbed his eyes. “It’s like 2am.”

 

"I couldn't sleep so I came down for a glass of water and heard Scott was in here so I was just checking on him. I'm really sorry I woke you, Aar."

 

"It's okay dear, come back to bed?" he asked hopefully. He had to be up in a few hours for work.

 

"I'll be up shortly, you go ahead," she offered.

 

"No, I'll wait." Aaron said firmly. He felt this whole situation seemed off and he drew the line in the sand with Tessa staying in a dimly lit room wearing a green silk camisole and matching lace panties with Scott wearing just his boxers. He wasn't that dense after seeing how comfortable Tessa and Scott had been with Scott's nakedness in the bathroom earlier.

 

He knew they had been together in the past and he was going to make sure there was no revisiting of any of that tonight. He watched Tessa tuck the blanket up around Scott's chin, which was okay because it would be hard to do that one-handed, but she probably didn't need to lean that much over Scott, giving him a good view into her gaping camisole.

 

"Night Scott!" Tessa waved with a grin as she walked towards Aaron who put his hand possessively on Tessa's ass, right where he knew Scott would see it.

 

"I'll help you fall asleep," Aaron whispered in Tessa ear, making sure his beard tickled her skin, eliciting a giggle from her as they left the room together.

 

Scott clenched his jaw, assuming from Aaron's hand placement and Tessa's giddy giggle that Aaron was taking Tessa back upstairs to remind her which one of the two men in the house she was dating. He just hoped that sound didn't carry far in this big house because he knew from experience how noisy Tessa could be in bed and he was _not_ in the mood right now to be hearing any of that.

 

*

 

"Your face is scruffy," she pointed out as she set a mug of coffee down in front of Scott. He had just sat down at the kitchen island wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, and his hair was sticking straight up.

 

Scott grunted sleepily as he pulled the mug up to his lips. He didn't get much sleep last night between the pain in his shoulder (he forgot to take more medication before bed) and Tessa's extra loud noises for what seemed like hours, plus he could not find a comfortable position to sleep in with Tessa's vanilla scent following him everywhere he went. "You're just noticing this now?" he grumbled.

 

Tessa moved around the kitchen island to stand next to Scott, her body pressing against his thigh. She was still wearing the sinful green outfit from last night and the wonderful effect it had on her eyes was not lost on Scott. "Hmmm," she hummed as she cupped his cheeks in her hands. She ran her thumbs over the stubble on his upper lip and then his chin. "It's actually filling in better than it used to."

 

Scott sat up a little straighter and snapped his teeth playfully at her fingers that were still rubbing around on his face.

 

She squeaked in surprise and grinned as she pulled her hands away from him.

 

"I tried shaving with my left hand after the surgery and it was a no-go, so I'm letting it grow out and we'll see where things ends up."

 

"This could get interesting," Tessa mused as her eyes crinkled in the corners. She loved Scott with facial hair, and she began to day dream of what Scott would look like with Aaron's thick, well-groomed beard when she felt Scott squeeze her wrist, bringing her back to reality.

 

"Hi," she said softly.

 

"Hey," he whispered.

 

Tessa cleared her throat. "So, I was going to make you waffles from scratch, if you're hungry?" she offered as she moved back to the safety of the other side of the kitchen island.

 

"Tess, about last night..."

 

"We don't need to discuss it. You still have feelings for me and you needed to take care of things. It's fine."

 

"Do you?" he asked softly, wondering if she felt even a fraction of what he still felt for her.

 

"Do I what?"

 

The buzzing of Tessa's phone interrupted their conversation. Scott watched as Tessa twirled around the kitchen while she talked to her mom. She made no mention of Scott, and he didn't know if it was intentional or if it just didn't come up in the discussion. He knew Kate well enough though that if she knew he was staying at Tessa's while recovering from surgery, Kate would have asked Tessa about him.

 

"So...waffles?" Tessa asked as she laid her phone back down on the kitchen counter.

 

"I kinda have a craving for your poached eggs on toast," Scott admitted, which was true. He hadn't eaten her signature "meal" since they broke up and seeing "early morning Tessa" was making him nostalgic.

 

"Sure! I actually haven't made that in months. Aaron doesn't like poached eggs," Tessa admitted.

 

" _Tess_...are you shitting me right now?" Scott barked as he nearly slammed his mug down on the counter.

 

She cocked her head at him, unsure as to what he was getting at.

 

"You hooked up with a guy who doesn't eat the only meal you can cook? Jesus _fucking_ Christ, Tessa!"

 

" _Scott_..." she warned.

 

"No. Don't say it's fine because it's not. Did he teach you to cook so he wouldn't have to eat the only thing you could make? Where is the asshole? I'd like some choice words with him!" Scott snarled.

 

"Scott stop it. Aaron's at work. I was the one who wanted to learn to cook, he didn't force me or even suggest it,” she insisted, her hands now on her hips and a frown on her face.

 

"But you wanted to change for him,” Scott countered.

 

"I wanted to change for _myself_. I wanted to learn some new skills to be able to feed _myself_. My new-found cooking skills have nothing to do with you or him. I'm done talking about this." Tessa turned around in a huff and yanked open the fridge door to block her body from Scott's view and so he wouldn't see the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes.

 

_He knew though_. He knew her better than anyone else in this world, or at least he liked to think that he still mostly knew her. Within seconds he was standing behind her, turned her around and pulled her body against his.

 

"I'm sorry, T,” he said against the shell of her ear, causing her to shudder. She let the fat tears roll down her cheeks and soak into the soft cloth of his t-shirt.

 

"You don't have to like him, but please don't make my life miserable," she sobbed against his shoulder.

 

"No, Tess...that's not it at all. I love you and want you to be happy. Aaron he seems like a great guy, but I have had two red flags in two days. He seems to not love you for _you_. He won’t watch your movies or eat your food? In my head that just doesn't seem right, sweetie.” Scott pulled Tessa away from him to look into her wet, green eyes. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “I only want the best for you.”

 

“I know you do,” she sighed.

 

“You also know you're killing me with the green silk and the lace, right? You look so fucking hot.” He slipped a finger under the strap of her camisole and slid it down her shoulder playfully.

 

“ _Scott_ ,” she groaned as she rolled her eyes.

 

“I'm sorry. I had to say it!”

 

“I should probably go up and put on real clothes before I make breakfast. I came down with Aaron to pack his lunch and I... _what?”_ She stopped talking mid-sentence as Scott gave her a disapproving look.

 

“You pack his lunch?” he asked, very much not impressed with the idea of Tessa packing a lunch like she was a 1950’s housewife.

 

“He likes it when I do?”

 

“I know you're a people pleaser but T, how long are you going to keep up this charade? We both know you're not a morning person.”

 

“You're just jealous,” she insisted.

 

Scott took a sip of his coffee, thinking carefully about how to approach her accusation. “I'm jealous that he fucked you all night long but I'm not jealous of you packing his lunch for him.”

 

“I'm sorry you heard us,” she apologized but didn’t really mean it.

 

“No, you're not. You wanted me to hear it. You want me to be jealous.”

 

“Are you?” she asked, trying to come off as being coy but really she was hopeful that he was insanely jealous. _Jealous enough to fight for her_.

 

“God, we're not teenagers anymore, Tess. Stop acting like one,” Scott huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest, closing her out. She knew he was done talking about this.

 

"So, poached eggs on toast?" she offered.

 

"Yes. I'm starving and need to take my pills with food. My shoulder fucking hurts."

 

"You sound like an 80 year old man," she scoffed, trying to hide the smile that was tugging at the corners of her mouth.

 

"Well, I feel like one today. Do you want help?” he offered, despite being in pain.

 

“Sure, do you—”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And I'll—”

 

“Yes.”

 

They knew what to do, falling into the routine they knew so well. Full sentences were not even needed.

 

They sat silently at the kitchen counter, eating their breakfast. It tasted better than Scott remembered.

 

"I thought you were going to change your clothes?" Scott asked with his mouth full as he flicked a toast crumb at Tessa.

 

She responded only with a raise of one eyebrow. She had manners and didn't talk with her mouth full. She picked up the pepper shaker as she finished chewing.

 

"Please don't. I'm sorry,” Scott cringed as he held his hand over his plate.

 

Tessa swallowed. “Extra pepper on your eggs if you make one more reference to what I'm wearing _and_ I'll make sure to change into something equally as _cute_ when we're done here.”

 

Scott's eyes went wide as he weighed his options. Did he want to be tortured all day long by one of her sexy outfits? He could handle the extra pepper, even if it meant sneezing while he finished eating.

 

He reached out and ran his fingers along the top edge of her camisole, just above her breast, and then up over the strap sitting on her shoulder. "Do you have this in any other colours?" he asked with a grin and wiggling eyebrows.

 

Tessa reached around his arm and sprinkled a heavy dose of pepper on Scott's remaining egg.

 

"Yes. I also have it in red and black. But that's not what I'm changing into. Now, finish your breakfast,” she smirked.

 

*

 

Scott looked over at Tessa as she drove them to his physio appointment. He had flashbacks of when he used to drive her to her appointments after her second surgery. He never thought one day the roles would be reversed.

 

She was right though. She did change into an outfit that made him sweat when he saw her walk down the stairs. Thigh-high black boots over tight black jeans that clung to her perfect ass in the best way possible, paired with a cropped black off the shoulder sweater that showed off her perfect abs and that damned naval piercing. Her make-up was heavier than normal too and he felt the whole look was reminiscent of the Carmen era. He knew this time she definitely knew what she was doing and it was worth the sneeze he had while he was chewing his last bite of heavily peppered egg. It was worth having to pick little bits of egg off his shirt. _Definitely worth it._

 

"Stop staring," she hissed as she caught him looking at her.

 

"Stop looking so hot. Do you dress like that for him? Or just for me?”

 

"Aaron? He has a name you know."

 

"Well? Do you?"

 

"We're here," she gritted through her teeth as she put the car in park and ignored his question because they both knew the answer. She was _only_ dressed like this to drive Scott wild and it was working and she was very confused by her irrational behaviour this morning.

 

While Tessa sat in the waiting room during Scott's physio, she called her therapist's office and made an appointment for herself. She had to rearrange a few things in her schedule to make it work, but she had learned over the years that her mental health came first and right now she felt she was emotionally spiralling out of control. She just hoped she could figure out what her heart and mind really wanted and what was the healthiest choice for her.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little shorter, but Tessa and I need to discuss which direction we want to take this story ;)


	6. Sweetest Devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With your loving, there ain't nothing  
> That I can't adore  
> The way I'm running, with you, honey  
> Means we can break every law  
> I find it funny that you're the only  
> One I never looked for  
> There is something in your loving  
> That tears down my walls
> 
> I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now  
> I'm heading straight for you  
> You will only be eternally  
> The one that I belong to
> 
> The sweetest devotion  
> Hitting me like an explosion  
> All of my life, I've been frozen  
> The sweetest devotion I've known

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title and summary from Adele's Sweetest Devotion

**Chapter 6: Sweetest Devotion**

 

**February 12, 2021**

 

"This is nice, right?" Jordan asked Tessa as she held up her teacup.

 

"Yeah," Tessa sighed as she glanced around the busy restaurant. She knew Jordan suggested Colette because it was one of Tessa's favourites; she was trying to make her little sister feel better.

 

"I'm still not sure you made the right choice, but you know I support you. Always. I love you Tessie."

 

"He was like 90 percent perfect?" Tessa pouted. "But what Scott pointed out just kept eating away at me...I guess in the end he was right. I think I knew all along Aaron wasn't the one."

 

"Yes, I think in your heart you knew. You never could answer us when we asked you that question. Maybe us Virtue women just don't need men."

 

Tessa shook her head to disagree. "I do. I want a partner. I want children one day."

 

"You don't need a partner or a husband to have children. You can be a single mother with a career," Jordan insisted and Tessa knew she was referring to how their own mother had managed just fine on her own.

 

"Oh I know I can, but I also know from growing up skating with Scott, that some things are easier to face when you have a partner beside you. It can make life a little less overwhelming when you have someone to lean on and share the journey with."

 

Jordan thought for a moment and then nodded to agree as she took a bite of her salad.

 

"Having someone to keep me warm at night is nice too," Tessa grinned at her older sister.

 

"T, you don't need a partner for that, you just need to have a guy or two on retainer."

 

"That's literally been my whole life Jojo. I finish with a skating tour and call up guy number three to see if he's available, if he's not I try guy number five, and so on. After being with Aaron for nearly a year, the stability and predictability was nice. I guess I was willing to overlook several things because I craved something constant. I don't have skating or Scott as my constant anymore. I miss the rigidity of training for the Olympics."

 

"You need your new normal outside skating. You two are retired; there are no more Olympics. Time to move onwards and upwards. I know it's hard sis. Do you think maybe you subbed Aaron in to replace skating and touring?"

 

"Looking back, probably. He seemed like such a great guy, he just had some faults. I know I need someone who supports me and loves me for who I am. I need someone who doesn't want me to change or be something I'm not. I don't know _who_ I need right now, but I'm hoping he's out there somewhere and one day we can get our timing right."

 

"Timing? So...does Scott fit into that? Sounds like you're talking about him?" Jordan narrowed her eyes at Tessa. They had discussed the possibility of Scott at length so many times over the past several years.

 

Tessa shrugged. "Truthfully, I don't know. I do know that I had too much Scott all at once. I overdosed on him. I went from not seeing or talking to him at all, to living under the same roof as him in just a few short weeks. I never should have offered to take him in, but my partner instincts kicked in and I felt in the moment that I needed to help nurse him back to health without thinking of how that would affect me. I'm embarrassed for the way I acted and I did apologize to both Aaron and Scott." Tessa turned her head away from Jordan and stared out the restaurant window.

 

"How did the photoshoot go today?" Jordan asked, changing the subject because she knew Tessa well enough to know when she was closing herself off to discussing a certain topic further.

 

Tessa had moved her stuff out of Aaron's house three days ago. Her own house felt empty, especially at night. She had been glad for the two-day photoshoot in Toronto to help keep her mind busy. She hadn't seen Scott in nearly a month. After his stay at Aaron's, she kept in touch with Scott through text message and the occasional phone call. She had been travelling a lot and she knew they both needed a bit of healthy physical distance for now.

 

As she drove herself home from Toronto, she allowed herself to reflect on the past several months. She knew somehow that her time with Aaron had been coming to a close, but it didn't make their split any easier. He seemed to understand where she was at and appreciated her honesty. The split was clean and on relatively good terms.

 

Upon arriving home, Tessa knew she needed to talk to Scott. She wanted to see him in person. She needed to tell him about Aaron, even though she knew she wasn't ready to consider where their own relationship was at. She needed more time before making any choices about Scott.

 

 **Tessa:** Hey stranger 🙈 I'm at my house this weekend. Do you want to come over for dinner one night?

 

 **Scott:** Sunday?

 

 **Tessa:** That works 😊 6pm?

 

 **Scott:** Sure

 

 **Scott:** Should I bring something?

 

 **Tessa:** Some liquid courage? 🍷I want to talk...in person 😬

 

 **Scott:** Uh-oh. Ok.

 

Tessa put down her phone on the kitchen counter and then picked it back up.

 

 **Tessa:** Scott is coming over for dinner on Sunday. Did I just do the wrong thing by inviting him?

 

 **Jordan:** What did you invite him over for? Sex? 😒

 

 **Tessa:** No! Just dinner and to talk. I wanted to tell him in person that I broke up with Aaron😭😔🙈

 

 **Jordan:** You realize Sunday is Valentine's Day, right?😘

 

 **Tessa:** Shit! No I didn't  But we never have celebrated it...should I cancel?

 

 **Jordan:** It's just a normal Sunday if you don't celebrate 

 

 **Tessa:** But the implication is there 🙃

 

 **Jordan:** Don't mention anything to him. He's a guy, chances are he won't even remember it's V-Day🙄

 

 **Tessa:** 😬

 

Tessa tossed her phone onto the sofa and then let her body flop onto it too. She groaned loudly into the sofa cushions, hoping her oversight wouldn't lead to any confusion or assumptions between her and Scott.

 

**February 14, 2021**

 

"You didn't say what you were making and I forgot my phone in the car when we stopped at the store so I brought a red and a white," Scott held up a bag as he entered the kitchen from the back door. He had let himself in using his key, after he knocked their special knock and she didn't open the door.

 

"Hi, dinner should be ready shortly," Tessa said as she wiped her wet hands on a kitchen towel. Her heart fluttered as Scott pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

 

"I would wait all night for whatever you're cooking. It smells absolutely amazing, Tess."

 

"Thanks, I'm trying a new recipe for chicken lasagna. I hope it tastes as good as it smells...what?" she asked, grinning at Scott who was grinning at her.

 

"I'm just so impressed with how comfortable you are in your kitchen and trying new recipes without fretting. I love your new kitchen confidence. It looks good on you!"

 

"Thanks," Tessa winked at Scott. "It's about time this kitchen is used for more than just holding dance parties."

 

"So? I'd offer to help but—” Scott flapped his one good arm like a chicken's wing, the other was still in a sling for several more weeks.

 

"Who dropped you off?"

 

"Mom...I swear it makes me feel like a little kid having to be driven all over the place."

 

"I know, I can sympathize with that, but you don't need any set backs just a month after your surgery. Operating a vehicle with just your left hand _would_ be tricky."

 

"Seeing as how I can't even shave my face and can barely wipe my ass? Yeah, I better not drive. I'm not as ambiguous as I thought."

 

Tessa stared at Scott for a moment and then burst out laughing. Her big laugh. The one that reverberates around Scott's heart. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she caught her breath. Scott had no idea what he said to make her laugh that hard but he was grinning anyways. He always felt content when he could make Tessa laugh.

 

"You gonna share the joke with the class, T? Or are you just laughing at my lack of ass wiping skills?"

 

"Ambidextrous. Not ambiguous." She put one hand on Scott's cheek and smiled. "It's not as long or as thick as I thought it would be."

 

"Tessa! Dirty!" Scott gasped as his eyes went wide.

 

"Oh shush, I mean your faux beard."

 

"Faux beard? Ouch."

 

"Maybe you need like a Rogaine product for your face?" she offered as she rubbed the back of her hand over his soft facial hair.

 

"Do they sell stuff like that?"

 

"I wouldn't even know. Most people I know are trying to remove hair, not add it. Are those twist off?" Tessa asked, pointing at the wine bottles that were still in the bag.

 

Scott pulled out the bottle of white wine. "This one is. It's pre-chilled. The red is just red."

 

Tessa took the bottle from Scott and cracked the top open. "I should have asked, you okay to drink now?" She pulled one wine glass from the cupboard.

 

"Yup, no more pills."

 

"Good," she nodded and pulled a second glass out. She filled them both generously before putting the bottle in the fridge. "Ten minutes left on the timer and then it should sit for about fifteen minutes but we can eat our salad while it's cooling. Join me on the sofa?"

 

Scott picked up his wine glass and followed Tessa into the family room. She took the corner of the L-shaped sectional and he sat beside her, one cushion between them.

 

"I just need to say this first, to get it out of the way," she started and then took a big gulp of her wine.

 

"Slow down, T. It's just me."

 

"I broke up with Aaron," she rushed out, the words running together.

 

Scott's face fell. "Tess? What happened? I was wondering why you were here and not at his house." Despite his lack of overflowing love towards Aaron, he never wanted to see Tessa heartbroken over a break up again.

 

"It's okay, it was me. He just wasn't the one...long-term. I had some therapy sessions and thought about everything at length before breaking things off this week."

 

"This isn't my fault, is it?" Scott asked cautiously.

 

"No. Not your fault. I promise. This is good wine," she held up her glass before taking another sip.

 

"Don't change the subject, T. I pointed out his flaws. You would still be with him right now if I had never said anything, if I had never stayed over. I had a feeling I should have refused the offer."

 

"Looking back, I never should have offered. It wasn't-"

 

"Healthy for us," Scott finished for Tessa.

 

"Yes, exactly," she nodded and took another sip of her wine.

 

"I'm sorry," Scott apologized.

 

"For what?"

 

"That we still can't be _normal_ and have the relationship that everyone wants us to?"

 

"I don't know that I ever want us to be _normal_. The way we are is unique and special and private. No one but _us_ understands us. I never want to share what we have or fit it into a box and give it a label," Tessa admitted quietly.

 

"I don't want to share us either," Scott agreed. "Tess, where do you see _us_ in five years?" he asked and then quickly gulped the rest of his wine in case Tessa provided him with an answer he didn't really want to hear. He needed to know one way or the other where her head was at.

 

"I hope we can be like this? Like we are right in this moment. Best friends who understand and love each other regardless of what is going on outside of our little personal bubble. I hope we don't drift apart again. I think the space we took was necessary, but now that we've had it, I hope we can at least co-exist as friends?"

 

"Do you think we can ever function as more than that? More than just friends?" he asked cautiously, he was still hopeful.

 

"I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm still sorting through the emotions of ending things with Aaron. It's too soon, Scott."

 

"I appreciate your honesty at least," Scott said with a small frown. He was mildly disappointed but not surprised at her response.

 

"You're not..." she started.

 

"Not what?"

 

"Waiting around for me? Are you?" she cringed at the way the words felt in her mouth. She wished things were different between them.

 

"I'm not actively pursuing anyone right now, but I wouldn't say I'm waiting for you either. I'm mostly focused on regaining use of my arm, taking some me time."

 

"I'm glad to hear you're taking care of yourself," Tessa's train of thought was interrupted by her kitchen timer. She excused herself to take the lasagna out of the oven.

 

Their conversation was put on hold until after they had started eating their dinner.

 

“Tess, this is so amazing. Way better than the Hello Fresh meal kits,” Scott admitted.

 

“Are you still ordering those?” she asked, genuinely surprised he ever used them other than those few times at her place and while they were on tour.

 

“Yeah, it’s easy for a single guy like me.”

 

“I’m thinking now that perhaps Aaron didn’t like me ordering them because they were tied to you. He protested the meal kits every time I ordered them. At the time I assumed it was because he was a real chef,” Tessa said, wrinkling her nose in annoyance.

 

“T, taking one year of culinary school hardly makes one a _real chef_ , but whatever this creamy sauce is, I love it so much," Scott groaned as he shoved another big forkful in his mouth.

 

"If you love it so much, why don't you marry it?" Tessa teased.

 

Scott's neck flushed red. He knew it, but couldn't do anything to stop it.

 

"Believe me, I would if I could," he admitted with his mouth still full of lasagna, and they both knew he meant Tessa and not the creamy sauce.

 

"It's just béchamel sauce," Tessa stated quietly. "A simple roux." She busied herself by pushing a string of cheese around on her plate while silently cursing herself for her bad timing in bringing up one of their old jokes. When they were eleven and thirteen, talking about loving food so much you wanted to marry it was so much simpler and didn't strike all the awkward and painful chords in their scarred hearts.

 

Scott knew she hadn't meant for what she said to be embarrassing, so he tried to ease things with a distraction. "So, I know we don't usually do anything, but I couldn't help myself."

 

Tessa whipped her head up and looked at Scott, shear terror written all over her face. _He knows it's Valentine's Day. Fucking hell._

 

"I—” she started as her cheeks went red.

 

Scott shook his head to have her stop talking. "Look behind the big elephant on the sideboard."

 

Tessa looked at the sideboard and then back at Scott before getting up to check. Sure enough, there was a bottle of chocolate liqueur hidden behind. _How had she not noticed this?_

 

"I put it there while you were plating the lasagna," he admitted sheepishly.

 

Tessa grinned and rolled her eyes. "Dessert or a bribe?"

 

"Both? It was next to the till at the LCBO, I'm sure for Valentine's Day, but I know you can't say no to chocolate, so I couldn't resist. You didn't have an ulterior motive in inviting me over tonight, did you?" Scott asked with his eyebrows raised.

 

"No!" Tessa insisted. "Besides, you were the one who chose tonight, not me."

 

"Fair enough," Scott agreed as he shovelled the last of his dinner in his mouth.

 

"What are you trying to convince me to do?" Tessa asked as her stomach did a flip flop. Her mind was racing at the multitude of possibilities as to why Scott felt he needed to bribe her with chocolate alcohol. She was so busy thinking, she nearly missed the reason.

 

"I was wondering we could do an anniversary skate on the 20th? Just the two of us?" he asked hopefully.

 

"Oh, Scott. Your arm. You shouldn't—” she protested as she shook her head.

 

"Please?" he asked, wiping his mouth on the linen napkin that had been draped across his lap.

 

Tessa was still trying to hold onto the feelings and memories from that night. She had finally caved and watched their Olympic free skate one night when she was alone and deep in her feelings about missing Scott, but just once. On February 20th of last year.

 

"Would it be okay if I think about it?" she asked quietly as she looked between the bottle of brown liqueur in her hands and Scott's hazel eyes. Tonight they were brown, very brown. Just like the liqueur. She had sort of hoped to see green, but she saw brown and did love the surprise. She would never not love the colour of his chameleon eyes.

 

"Of course. This is your anniversary too, and if you really don't want to, I will respect your decision."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Tessa agree to an anniversary skate??


	7. Make You Feel My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the rain is blowing in your face  
> And the whole world is on your case  
> I could offer you a warm embrace  
> To make you feel my love
> 
> When the evening shadows and the stars appear  
> And there is no one there to dry your tears  
> Oh, I hold you for a million years  
> To make you feel my love
> 
> I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
> But I will never do you wrong  
> I've known it from the moment that we met  
> No doubt in my mind where you belong
> 
> I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue  
> And I'd go crawling down the avenue  
> No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do  
> To make you feel my love
> 
> The storms are raging on the rolling sea  
> And on the highway of regret  
> The winds of change are blowing wild and free  
> You ain't seen nothing like me yet
> 
> I could make you happy, make your dreams come true  
> There's nothing that I wouldn't do  
> Go to the ends of this Earth for you  
> To make you feel my love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNING: You will feel all the things....sorry for the minor character death but we need that to get to the ending and also...sorry for the ending
> 
> Chapter title and summary from Adele's Make You Feel My Love

 

**Warning : this chapter will make you feel ALL the things 😊😭😊😭**

 

 

**Chapter 7: Make You Feel My Love**

 

**February 19, 2021**

 

 **Tessa:** Hey 👋🏼 Are you home?

 

 **Scott:** 8pm on a Friday night? Sadly, yes

 

 **Tessa:** Would it be ok if I come over rn? 😬

 

 **Scott:** Of course u r always welcome

 

 **Tessa:** Thanks, I'll be there in 30

 

Scott paced the main floor of his house, wishing he had a mess to clean up or something to do to help pass the time, but he kept his place clean and meticulous. He chewed on his thumbnail, hoping she had made a decision about an anniversary skate tomorrow. He didn't even know when the last time was that she had been over, but it might have been in early 2019 during tour prep.

 

24 minutes later he heard her knock and he rushed towards the front door, grateful that she was the prompt one between them and arrived earlier than promised, putting him out of his misery.

 

"Virtch!" he grinned as he flung the front door open.

 

"Hey," she mumbled from behind her scarf that was wrapped around her neck and covered most of her face.

 

He impatiently shifted his weight from one foot to the other as it seemed to take her an eternity to remove her mittens, scarf, jacket and boots.

 

"Roads are shit tonight," she said as she hung up her jacket on one of the hooks Scott had hung on the wall behind the door.

 

"You still made good time," he smiled as he pulled her in for a side hug, using his one good arm.

 

"I texted you from my car, I was just getting ready to leave the mall," she admitted to not have been home when she decided she was finally ready to see him at the literal eleventh hour.

 

"Oh. Um, can I get you anything? Hot chocolate maybe?"

 

"Do you have marshmallows?" Tessa asked as she followed Scott into the kitchen.

 

"Not sure, you can check," he pointed to the pantry door as he opened a cupboard to pull out two mugs. "I have the Tim's hot chocolate with the mini marshmallows in the mix though."

 

"That will do in a pinch, I suppose," Tessa's voice was oddly muffled so Scott turned around and saw she was bent over, her head was inside the deep pantry cupboard as she pushed around cans of soup and jars of Alma's homemade jams and pickles, looking for the elusive marshmallows.

 

His brain went straight to the gutter as he tried to control his breathing and remind himself the ball was in her court, not his. He couldn't help but picture himself taking her from behind, grinding his body against the back of hers. They never got the chance to do any of that in his house; it was finished after they ended their romantic relationship.

 

"I found some!" she squealed with glee as she stood up and turned to face Scott. "What's wrong? You okay?"

 

"Uh, yeah," he managed to get out, his tongue felt thick and his throat was dry.

 

He watched Tessa squeeze the partially used bag of jumbo marshmallows with her hands, which turned him on even more for some reason. Her eyes caught his and he gave his head a little shake before turning around to put the kettle on to boil. _I am still so in love with her, even after all these years,_ he thought to himself. He knew he would never be over her.

 

*

 

"So, you probably know why I'm here," she said, her face was mostly hidden behind her mug of hot chocolate, just her big green eyes were peeking over the three jumbo marshmallows she had floated on top. She felt a little safer and more confident with something to hide behind.

 

"Yeah, I think I do," Scott said as he took a sip of his hot chocolate, promptly burning his tongue and the roof of his mouth. He set his mug down on the coffee table so it could cool down.

 

"So, while I appreciate the sentimentality of an anniversary skate, I think it's in our best interest to forgo it at this time," Tessa said, her entire body stiff and set in her decision.

 

"What?!" Scott's face was scrunched up with disappointment; he really didn't think she was going to say no.

 

"Hear me out?" she pleaded. The last thing she wanted was for him to stomp out of the room. To her surprise, Scott stayed seated and still. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay," he sighed.

 

"You're still recovering. At most, we can skate slow around the boards. No lifts whatsoever. It will be like the night before your surgery...you won't even be able to lace up your own skates."

 

Scott could feel tears prickling his eyes. As per usual, Tessa was right.

 

"It won't be much of a skate—”

 

"But we would still be on the ice, Tess," he countered.

 

She shook her head. "And if you manage to do something and injure your shoulder again or give yourself a setback—”

 

"I won't!" Scott insisted defensively.

 

Tessa glared at Scott and he knew there was no point arguing with her further. She had made up her mind and that was it. "You said you would respect my decision, Scott."

 

"You're right, I did. I'm sorry."

 

Tessa looked down at her mug and then absentmindedly licked one of her marshmallows, causing Scott's eyes to go wide as he watched her tongue roll the marshmallow over, coating it in chocolate. She took a sip and then looked up at Scott, she could feel him watching her.

 

"What?" she asked, her brow knitting together.

 

Scott didn't know how to respond, they were in a semi-good place this past week and he really didn't want to strain things by admitting to her that he just wanted to throw her over his good shoulder and take her upstairs for the night because she was continuously making him feel things for her that he probably shouldn't because she wasn't going to reciprocate. He stared at Tessa, the blinking of their eyes was the only movement in the room. Scott could hear the wind picking up outside and it sounded like snow pellets were hitting the windows.

 

"Okay," he sighed. "No skate. Do you want to go out for dinner or something then?"

 

Tessa shook her head. "I'm sorry, Mom and I are driving up to the cottage tomorrow morning. I wanted two days up there to relax, the next several weeks are going to be quite busy for me with work."

 

"Oh, okay." Scott felt she was pushing him away again, she was purposely hiding at her cottage avoiding the five year anniversary of their comeback announcement, the three year anniversary of their win in Korea, and the two year anniversary of their retirement.

 

"I'm sorry, Scott. I just...I don't know. I guess I'm just not emotionally ready to celebrate yet. It's a bittersweet day for me. For us."

 

"I understand, T. It's okay. Maybe one day?" he asked hopefully.

 

"Oh I'm sure one day I will be and you'll be the first to know. I would like to skate with you again though, as soon as you're all healed up and have the doctor's clearance."

 

"Really?" Scott's face lit up; his eyes crinkled at the corners and his smile was wide.

 

Tessa giggled and pulled her mug up to her lips. She nodded furiously, making her messy bun bob back and forth before she took a sip of her hot chocolate.

 

"I did enjoy being back on the ice with you last month. I just don't want to stress over you hurting yourself further right now."

 

"I can wait. I'll wait. So as soon as the doc says?" Scott was now perched on the edge of his seat, his whole body buzzing with excitement at skating with Tessa again.

 

Tessa threw her head back and laughed. "I love that you are still so excited to skate with me."

 

"Skating with you is one of the best things in the whole world. You're always worth the wait, T. Always."

 

**February 20, 2021**

 

The drive to the cottage was fairly quiet. Kate had said she was feeling slightly under the weather when Tessa picked her up, but insisted they go anyways. Tessa was busy stewing in her emotions, feeling somewhat guilty that she pushed Scott away from being with her today. She toyed with the idea of inviting him up to the cottage last minute for dinner tonight, but she immediately scolded herself. She was supposed to be relaxing and reflecting and enjoying her time with her mom before she had to travel again.

 

Tessa had invited Kate to join her for a few days next week in Toronto, mostly because she always felt guilty spending time away from her mom. They had relied heavily on each other in the past and were very close having lived together in Canton for years. Now that Tessa wasn't training for the Olympics or touring, she made sure she at least kept up their tradition of morning phone calls that started after she came home from Sochi. It had become a point of comfort for Tessa, something that remained constant even with everything else around her changing drastically over the past few years.

 

"For lunch we can heat up the soup I brought," Tessa suggested as she exited off the highway and took the final stretch of road towards the cottage.

 

"Sure, what kind did you make?" Kate asked quietly.

 

"The vegetarian tortilla one, just for you,” Tessa grinned as she looked over at her mom.

 

"Oh yum, that's one of my favourites. It's nice to see you embracing your cooking skills and treating me to home cooked meals," Kate forced a smile as she pressed her fingers to her temples and rubbed gently.

 

Tessa noticed Kate had done that several times during their drive to the cottage. "Headache?" she asked tentatively.

 

"Yeah, I took something for it before we left but it hasn't helped yet. It's been hanging around the last few days. Just off and on,” Kate admitted as she continued to rub circles against the pressure in her head.

 

"Migraine?”

 

"No, not yet anyways…touch wood. I think I'm also just in need of a bit of relaxation for two days. The stress of getting the house listed for sale and working around the showings has been getting to me. I didn’t think I would be so emotionally draining to finally let the house go,” Kate admitted to her youngest daughter.

 

"I wish you didn’t have to sell it, we have so many good memories there, but you’re making the right choice by downsizing. It’s a lot of work taking care of that big place by yourself and you’re hardly there anyways.” Tessa paused for a moment before changing the subject; she didn’t realize this would be so hard on her mom. “So, I'm thinking I could use a nap this afternoon. Naps at the cottage are always nice.”

 

“Me too, that might help kick this headache finally,” Kate agreed as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

 

*

 

"You know you can always talk to me if something is bothering you, right?" Kate said to Tessa as they ate their lunch.

 

Tessa looked up at her mom and raised one eyebrow. _Her mom knew her so well._

 

"Mother's intuition?" Kate offered.

 

Tessa ran her top teeth back and forth over her bottom lip, stalling. She wasn't sure how exactly she was going to bring this up to her mom, but she did want to tell her. She hated keeping things from her.

 

"Um, so…I saw Scott last night," she started and then stopped as Kate's spoon clanked loudly against her bowl. "I know, I know. You're still upset that I didn't tell you he stayed over at Aaron's after his surgery. Nothing happened between us though,” Tessa insisted.

 

"But Scott is the reason you are no longer with Aaron. I liked him, you know. Aaron was a good fit for you,” Kate sighed. She had thought Aaron was _the one_ , even though Tessa could never bring herself to admit it.

 

"No, mom he wasn't the right fit. He—”

 

"Sometimes love is enough to overcome a person’s shortcomings, sweetheart.”

 

"No. We discussed this. It's over between us and I'm at peace with my decision," Tessa said firmly. She didn’t know why her mom wasn’t understanding that Aaron’s character flaws were a deal breaker. Yes, it took Scott to point them out, and maybe that’s why Kate was so bothered by the whole thing.

 

"So what does Scott have to do with this then?" Kate sighed as she pressed her fingers against her eyes, trying to relieve the pressure and the double vision.

 

"He wanted to skate today, for our anniversary, but I told him no."

 

"I think that's probably for the best. The two of you ended your skating partnership in 2019 and I think maybe that door should stay closed.”

 

"Actually—”

 

" _Tessa_ ," Kate warned. She didn’t want to hear the next words out of her daughter’s mouth. She _knew_ they wouldn’t be able to stay away from the rink or from each other.

 

"We did go skate the night before his surgery,” Tessa winced, waiting for her mom’s disapproving response.

 

" _Tessa!”_ Kate hissed. _She knew it!_

 

"And I promised him we would go once his shoulder was fully healed. I want to, mom. I do miss skating with him.”

 

“My girl, you skated without him all last year and you seemed fine. You even went a few times with Aaron,” Kate said as she let out a big sigh. She had been happy that Aaron embraced Tessa’s skating so easily.

 

“I prefer to skate with someone and truthfully anyone else feels... _wrong_. Scott is my skating partner,” Tessa admitted as she finished the last of her soup.

 

"Somehow, I expected this. I think in my heart I always knew you two would circle back to each other. So, are you toying with the notion that you two should be together again? As a couple? Jordan mentioned to me that it sounded like you might. You know my thoughts on that.”

 

"I'm really considering it, yes,” Tessa nodded her head as she looked down into her empty soup bowl. Saying it out loud made it feel more real and a whole lot scarier.

 

"Baby girl, please don't do this to yourself again. How many times can you take him breaking your heart?"

 

"What if he doesn't this time though, mom? What if the year apart did us both enough good that we are ready to be together finally?"

 

"Are you ready for what he wants though? Marriage and children? I don’t think he’ll want to wait around another couple years for you to be ready for those things, sweetheart.”

 

"Yes, I know. I think maybe that's part of what's holding me back. I wasn't ready for that with Aaron either, but I do want it eventually with someone. I think in my heart marriage and children have always belonged to Scott, I was just scared to admit it before." Tessa sighed. She was getting frustrated that the _Scott_ conversation always went in circles like this.

 

"Tessie, sweetie, I don't know that Scott is the right person for you off the ice and we've been over this before. I care deeply about both of you and believe you are both healthier apart. You’re not fully thinking this through. You’ve grown _so_ much in the last year. I…I don't want you to skate with him or see him anymore. I don’t want him to break you again.”

 

Tessa slammed her palms down on the table in frustration. She had reached her breaking point on this conversation. “Mom!” she shouted. “I'm an adult! I'm capable of making my own choices!” She almost never raised her voice at her mom, but when she did, it was always related to skating. Skating was, _is_ , her passion and by default that always includes Scott. _In all ways._

 

“Tessa! Do not raise your voice at me like that. I—” Kate stopped as she pressed her hands on the sides of her head. It was pounding and the room was all of a sudden just too bright. "I'm sorry sweetie, I need to go lay down. My headache is getting worse. I understand that you are an adult and at the end of the day I will respect your choices, regardless of whom you choose for a life partner. I love you baby girl."

 

*

 

Tessa woke up from her nap, after having cried herself to sleep. It had been such a long time since she had argued with her mom like that, the last time being when Tessa wanted her second surgery and Kate was against it. They were once again at two polar opposites of the skating and Scott issues. Tessa had come to realize what her heart had known all along, what it truly wanted. She just needed to close her eyes and take that leap off the cliff, holding the hand of her best friend and trust that he wouldn't let her fall.

 

She freshened up and wandered downstairs, expecting to find her mom making dinner since it was nearly 6pm. The entire cottage was quiet and dark, Kate was no where to be found. Tessa was worried that maybe their fight about Scott had upset her more than she realized and perhaps she took a walk outside. Tessa headed towards the porch but noticed the door to Kate's room was still closed.

 

Tessa listened at the door but didn’t hear anything so she knocked. No answer. She opened the door and saw Kate still asleep on her side, in her bed. Tessa climbed into the bed and snuggled up against her mom’s back, the way she had done as a small child and often in Canton when she had bad days, and many times in London after her first surgery.

 

"Mom, I'm sorry. I can't help that my heart loves Scott so much. No one will ever love me or understand me the way Scott does. We bring each other comfort in a way that no one else can.”

 

When Kate didn’t respond, Tessa shook her gently. "Mom?" she called out softly.

 

Kate was still unresponsive but Tessa could see that she was still breathing. She felt in her gut something wasn't right and started to panic. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and called the first person that came to mind. She silently cursed herself for not taking the first aid course for the tours with Scott. At the time, she had rationalized that they were always together and he was better at that sort of thing than her anyways.

 

"Hey T! Change your mind about skating tonight?” he asked as he answered his phone. He hadn’t been completely surprised to see her name flash across the screen. He had purposely kept his evening open, _just in case._

 

"Scott?" Tessa said with a shaky voice as she tried again to wake up Kate.

 

Scott knew immediately something wasn't right. Without even thinking it through, he grabbed his jacket and keys and bolted out of his front door and towards his truck. _Tessa would always come first in his life._ "Tess, talk to me. What's wrong?”

 

"It's...it's mom. I can't wake her up. Oh God, Scott I can't wake her up,” Tessa sobbed into the phone, gasping for air.

 

"Tess, please take a deep breath. Are you at the cottage?” Scott asked calmly. He knew he had to be strong and calm for both of them.

 

Scott could hear Tessa trying to suppress her sobs. “Yeah,” she finally was able to say, her voice choking on tears.

 

“Okay, I’m on my way. You need to call 911, check if she's breathing. Follow what the 911 operator tells you. I'm going to hang up so you can call them okay?”

 

“I'm scared, Scott,” Tessa whispered.

 

“I know, but you can do this, T. You need to do this.”

 

Scott ended the call and put his forehead against the cool leather of his truck's steering wheel. "Fuck," he breathed out, gathering himself together. He took the sling off his arm and gritted his teeth through the discomfort as he put the gearshift into reverse and backed his truck down the driveway.

 

About halfway to the cottage he received a text message from Tessa telling him Kate was being taken to the hospital in nearby Clinton.

  

*

 

"Scott!" Tessa shouted as she saw him walk through the doors of the hospital emergency room. She ran towards him and threw her arms around his waist, clutching him tight.

 

"How did you get here Scott? You were not cleared to drive. Your arm?” she asked as she looked up at him, realizing he was on his own and had likely driven well beyond the posted limit to make it as quick as he had.

 

"Don't worry about me. My arm will be fine. How's Kate?" Scott took a good look at the tear-stained face of his oldest friend. "How are _you?"_ he asked softly as he used his knuckle to wipe at the tears running down her cheeks.

 

Tessa let her weight sink against Scott as she sobbed into his chest with relief that he was here to face whatever this was with her. _They were always stronger together._

 

"I called the boys, they are on their way from London but Jord hasn't answered me yet. She's in Vancouver right now for work and I'm scared she won't—”

 

"Shhh it's okay, just breathe. Do you know what's wrong with Kate?” he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

 

Tessa shook her head and continued to sob against Scott. He held her tight in the hallway of the hospital and sent up a silent prayer that Kate would be okay. Despite their opposite views on numerous things over the years he did love her like his own mother.

 

Tessa didn’t hear much of what the doctor said when she finally came out to talk to Scott, Tessa, and her brothers. _Ruptured brain aneurysm. Subarachnoid hemorrhage. One in three chance at survival._

 

Scott and Tessa sat on either side of Kate in her hospital room, each holding one of her hands. Casey and Kevin were in the hallway making phone calls. _Things didn’t look good._

Tessa had her head on the bed, next to Kate’s shoulder, still crying and softly whispering “I love you” and “please don’t leave me” over and over to her mom. Scott’s own heart was breaking as he watched Tessa. He knew what he had to do. He lifted Kate’s hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. He laid her hand back down on the bed and wrapped both of his around it.

 

"Kate…I’m so sorry for all the pain I have caused to you and everyone over the years. I know I have acted like an ass in the past but I promise you that I’ll be better. I promise I'll take care of her, Kate. I will never let her fall. I will give her all of the emotional and physical support she needs for the rest of her life. Whatever she needs, I'll be there. I promise, you don’t have to worry about Tess. You have my word.” Scott’s voice cracked with his final promise to the woman who was a second mother to him as he started to cry. He couldn’t be as strong as he wanted to be. He let himself get lost in his emotions of the impending loss and cried against Kate’s other shoulder.

 

*

 

Jordan didn’t make it home until the next morning, by then it was too late. The sisters embraced at first, both searching for the comfort they really wanted from their mother, but then the angry accusations started flying.

 

“She didn’t wait for me,” Jordan sobbed into Tessa’s shoulder.

 

"Why would she? You were never here when we needed you. You were in Australia for years while mom was with me in Canton. I took care of her as much as she took care of me and you…you couldn't even make it home in time before—”

 

"I can’t help that I was on the other side of the country when this happened! It was your arguing with her about Scott that caused her to—”

 

"Jordan! Please! Tess feels guilty enough. Just lay off her already!" Scott pleaded with Jordan as he pulled Tessa against his chest, shielding her from Jordan's steely gaze and doing his best to uphold his promise to Kate. He was not going to leave her side unless she told him to.

 

"Come, you didn’t sleep all night and you need some rest," Scott insisted as he led Tessa up the stairs to her bedroom, leaving Jordan, Casey, and Kevin sitting in Tessa’s living room. He didn't care what they thought of him; his only priority right now was Tessa. He helped her change into sweatpants and a t-shirt, knowing she was in shock from the events of the past fifteen hours. He rummaged around in her bathroom and found some painkillers for his arm. He had over used it with all the driving, but he was pretty sure there wouldn't be any major setbacks. He stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed beside Tessa. He knew she would want the reassurance and warmth of his body, just two friends seeking comfort during great pain. This was not the first time it had happened and Scott knew it likely wouldn’t be the last.

 

Tessa let out a huge shuddered sigh as he pulled her body against his. With a quick kiss to her head, he whispered a simple "I'm here."

  

**March 2, 2021**

  

"I don't understand why you are spending so much time with him," Jordan whispered to Tessa.

 

"Because he provides me with comfort in a way that no one else can. We've discussed this before, Jojo," Tessa sighed as she picked at one of the sandwiches Scott had placed down in front of her. The funeral had been as nice as a funeral could be, and despite the circumstances it was nice to catch up with distant relatives, many of them she only saw every other year at the big family reunion.

 

"I get that, T. He's _Scottie_ , but I'm just worried about how healthy it is for the two of you to be living in each other’s back pocket again...for him to be sleeping in your bed." Jordan looked around the room that was now nearly empty. She leaned in close and whispered to her sister "Are you two having sex?"

 

Tessa side eyed her older sister. "Do you really think I have been in the mood for sex in the last ten days, Jord? Give me a break." Tessa stood up and walked out of the room.

 

Scott had been watching Jordan and Tessa talk from a distance, and he followed Tessa out of the reception hall at the funeral chapel. He wasn't sure exactly why she was leaving, but he felt it was his duty to watch over her. He knew she was emotionally fragile and wasn’t really sure how well she was doing as she refused to talk to him about the death of her mother.

 

"Tess!" he called out after her as she took off running down the hallway and through the double doors outside. It was snowing and cold and Tessa was only wearing high heels and a thin black dress.

 

By the time Scott reached her, she was sitting in a snow bank, sobbing. He scooped her into his arms and carried her back inside.

 

“This is all my fault. I argued with her and now she’s gone,” she cried against his neck.

 

“No, Tess, don’t think like that. Everyone has a time and this was hers. Please don’t blame this on yourself.”

  

**May 9, 2021**

“I know you have been having a hard time these past few months, T, and I wouldn’t even begin to understand the emotional pain you must have, but you really don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Scott said as he looked over at Tessa sitting on the bench.

 

“No, I did promise you we would skate once the doctor gave the all clear. I do want to do this for me. For us.” She tugged her laces tight and then double knotted them before standing up. “Ready?”

 

Scott stood up and sighed. “It’s been so long, I don’t think I even remember how to skate.”

 

Tessa scoffed. “Please, you were born knowing how to skate. Catch me if you can,” she teased as she stepped onto the ice and skated quickly away from him.

 

He chased after her easily, he had been working hard in the gym and it had paid off. He grabbed onto her waist and pulled her tight against him, his chest pressed against her back.

 

“I missed this so much,” he whispered into her ear.

 

“Me too,” she breathed out “Scott…I love you, but is it enough?”

 

“Is what enough?” he asked as he pressed a kiss behind her ear.

 

“Is loving you enough to keep us together?”

 

Scott was quiet for a moment. “Are we together?” he whispered as he guided their joined bodies around the ice.

 

“Are we not?”

 

“I don’t know, you tell me. Ball is in your court, Tess.”

 

She turned in his arms and looked into his eyes. Today they looked green, but perhaps they were just mimicking hers, showing her that they could be one person. “Scott, I’m scared to do this but more scared not to. We do need each other and we do love each other. Can you commit to me though? Will you fight for me if the circumstances arise?”

 

“Where have I been the last four months, sweetie?” he asked softly, pressing their foreheads together.

 

“By my side. Every minute, and I do appreciate that. I needed you to pull me through.”

 

“I promised Kate I wasn’t going anywhere until you told me you were ready to let me go. I am fully committed to you and I will fight for you. For us. I want to grow old with you by my side. You’re my best friend and frankly living life without you sucks. I tried that. No one else even comes close to you and to what we are together.”

 

“Okay,” Tessa said firmly with a huge grin.

 

“Okay?” he asked, unsure of if he understood what she meant.

 

“Yes. I’m in. I will fight for us too,” she clarified. “I want us, I want together, I want forever. With you.”

 

Scott got down on both knees in the middle of the rink. He grabbed her hands in his and kissed her ring finger. “I don’t have a ring, but I’m doing this right now before you change your mind,” he said as he looked up at her hopefully.

 

Tessa threw her head back and laughed her big laugh. Scott grinned as he watched her body heave with the laughter he knew had been missing from her life the past few months. She was so beautiful it made his heart hurt but her laughter soothed the pain.

 

“Tess, will you make me the luckiest man alive and marry me? Please?”

 

“On one condition.”

 

“Anything, name it, I’ll agree,” he said as he nodded furiously.

 

“Desperate much?” she giggled.

 

“Actually, yes. I’m down on both knees here T and the cold is seeping through my pants.”

 

“We never stop fighting for us. We never stop choosing us. We put us first and we keep the lines of communication flowing. Forever.”

 

“Okay,” he nodded. “I can do that.”

 

“And one more thing. We make a conscious effort to have less arguing off ice. Let’s work towards bringing the magic we make on ice, off. Let’s be the fairy tale ending we both deserve. I’m willing to put the work into smoothing the outside edges of the best partnership I’ve ever known.”

 

“Agreed. I am willing to do that for you and for us. So?” He raised one eyebrow, still waiting for the answer to his question.

 

Tessa grinned and nodded. “Yes.”

 

Scott jumped up and pulled Tessa into his arms, whooping so loudly his jubilant noise echoed around the empty rink and he almost missed his favourite sound.

 

 

**Sometime in the middle of 2023**

 

"Everything okay?" Scott whispered as he set a mug of coffee down on the nightstand beside Tessa where she was sitting in their bed.

 

She looked up at him; her normally bright green eyes were dull with exhaustion. She offered him a forced smile but her heart was so incredibly heavy.

 

"I miss her so much Scott. Especially our morning phone calls.”

 

"I know, babe," Scott sat down carefully on the bed beside Tessa and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You can always call my mom if you have questions. The Moirs are your family too and you can still _talk_ to your mom.”

 

“But she won't answer me, Scott. I have questions for her, so many questions. What is normal, am I making the right decisions, which outfit she likes better...”

 

“ _Tess_ …”

 

"If I have one regret it's that I didn't take this leap in 2018. Mom would have been around to see us get married and she could have met her granddaughter." Tessa looked down at the sleeping three-day-old baby lying in her lap. She gently stroked her finger over the soft hair on her head, and down the bridge of her tiny nose.

 

"But if we had, we would not have had this exact baby. She was born when she was supposed to have been. We just have to trust that life works in mysterious ways and one day we may find the answer.”

 

“I know,” Tessa sighed. “And we just have to trust that she is destined for greatness in her own special way.”

 

Scott wrapped his arm around Tessa’s shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. He could tell she was struggling in this transition and he knew he would keep his promise to Kate. “Tess…you know how when a person passes…their spirit can come back? Maybe this is your mom and now _you_ can take care of her?”

 

"Scott, don't be silly," Tessa scoffed but tears filled her eyes anyways. She didn't know what she believed anymore, but the arrival of their daughter was so bittersweet.

 

"Besides, I wasn't ready in 2018 to be the man you needed me to be. We needed these last five years to grow apart and then grow back together. I do think your mom would have loved her red hair, it matches her fiery temper," Scott stroked his finger over their daughter's rounded cheek.

 

"Her temper and impatience is all Moir….but her red hair is definitely Virtue,” Tessa smiled, remembering the shock she had when their daughter was first placed on her bare chest. She had fully expected a head of dark brown _Moir_ hair.

 

“Well I know one thing for sure, our daughter will be loved. My heart is already overflowing. I can't thank you enough, T," Scott said softly as he pressed a soft kiss to their sleeping daughter's head.

 

"Thank me? It was a team effort," Tessa smiled.

 

"I had one job and you did the rest, babe. It was hardly a fair team effort.”

 

“We've always worked great as a team though,” she reminded him.

 

“We have and I'm glad we finally are back together and on the same team.”

**Sometime in the distant future**

 

“Scott, I’m ready. I’m ready to let you go. It’s time, my love.”

 

“I don’t want to go, Tess. I promised your mom.”

 

“I know, but you’ve fulfilled that promise many times over. It’s okay. I’ll be okay."

 

“Tess, I—”

 

“Shhh, close your eyes and just breathe with me. I'm here,” Tessa whispered as she snuggled up against Scott’s side. She held him as he took his last breath, knowing that at 90-something years old, she wouldn’t have to wait long to skate with him once again.

 

 

 

 


End file.
